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Larry Anglestand, the "Fudge King" is brutally murdered for his homosexuality and opposition to the archaic Blue Laws governing the town.
>>> that the city officials, who enforced the laws, were some of his lovers. and, that a cop, no less, was assigned to have sex with larry in order to trap him in a sexual encounter... trial was fixed... Potential bait on the hook that might separate the story from all other innumerable insRead more
>>> that the city officials, who enforced the laws, were some of his lovers. and, that a cop, no less, was assigned to have sex with larry in order to trap him in a sexual encounter… trial was fixed…
Potential bait on the hook that might separate the story from all other innumerable instances of police entrapment and rigged trials.
But it’s not in your logline.
It seems you have an abundance of riches, too many choices to cram into a logline. That’s the frustration. And the challenge. You only got 25 words, give or take. What’s the biggest, juiciest, most appealing bait you can put in the hook of the logline to make me or anyone else want to read the script?
See lessDetermined and short of money, a young boy aims to swim and fly to his dream paradise on the wildest island of Tasmania.
Also, the audience needs to believe that the boy believes he MUST get there, no matter what. His motivation doesn't have to particularly rational or realistic -- we don't expect that of a young boy. No one that age really comprehends how hard and dangerous the journey is going to be. So when the goiRead more
Also, the audience needs to believe that the boy believes he MUST get there, no matter what.
His motivation doesn’t have to particularly rational or realistic — we don’t expect that of a young boy. No one that age really comprehends how hard and dangerous the journey is going to be. So when the going gets tough, tougher than he ever imagined, he’s got to have a compelling reason to keep pushing on instead of coming to his senses and turning back.
I think you have the seed of an idea for a compelling character embarking on a great quest. I hope you will continue to nurture and grow the idea.
See lessDetermined and short of money, a young boy aims to swim and fly to his dream paradise on the wildest island of Tasmania.
"Short of money" explains HOW he decides to get to Tasmania, but it doesn't explain WHY he wants to go. >>There?s no reason why he needs to go to Tasmania Then what reason do I have as a viewer to care if he goes, care if he succeeds?
“Short of money” explains HOW he decides to get to Tasmania, but it doesn’t explain WHY he wants to go.
>>There?s no reason why he needs to go to Tasmania
Then what reason do I have as a viewer to care if he goes, care if he succeeds?
See less