1. Posted: October 28, 2018In:

    When a despot king discovers ancient technology that could help him destroy his enemies he is outsmarted by an old digital human that invades his mind with a plan to conquer the real world.

    dpg Singularity

    So.... what's the plot?? What's the script about?And who is the protagonist?? Who is the audience supposed to identify with and root for?And who is the antagonist/nemesis?What is the objective goal that frames the plot?What are the stakes?>>>>with a secret planAs Blake Snyder (of "Save tRead more

    So…. what’s the plot?? What’s the script about?
    And who is the protagonist?? Who is the audience supposed to identify with and root for?
    And who is the antagonist/nemesis?
    What is the objective goal that frames the plot?
    What are the stakes?

    >>>>with a secret plan

    As Blake Snyder (of “Save the Cat” fame)? might say were he still in the land of the living:? that’s hiding the game ball.? A logline shouldn’t give away the ending, of course, but it has to show the game ball, the object or objective that everyone is fighting over.

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  2. Posted: October 20, 2018In:

    When a lonely teenager, raised by intelligent machines, dreams they are lying about the extinction of humankind, he decides to run away on a perilous quest to find other humans.

    dpg Singularity

    RE:?I never said he lived in the outbackYou wrote in an earlier comment:? "...go south of Australia (he is near Lake Amadeus)."? So I assumed....Whatever, my general point stands:? the setting should confront him with insurmountable obstacles, life-threatening jeopardy from the git-go.

    RE:?I never said he lived in the outback

    You wrote in an earlier comment:? “…go south of Australia (he is near Lake Amadeus).”? So I assumed….

    Whatever, my general point stands:? the setting should confront him with insurmountable obstacles, life-threatening jeopardy from the git-go.

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  3. Posted: October 25, 2018In:

    A Secret Service agent, must kill the President to save the Presidency. After years in exile, he must help save his estranged daughter, the newest President, when she is taken hostage.

    dpg Singularity

    As others noted, it's kind of confusing.? Did the guy actually assassinate the President -- or only conspire to (but the plot failed)?? {Either way, he wouldn't just be in exile -- he'd be in hiding.? Deep hiding. Because trying to? assassinate the President (no matter what the pretext) is the higheRead more

    As others noted, it’s kind of confusing.? Did the guy actually assassinate the President — or only conspire to (but the plot failed)?? {Either way, he wouldn’t just be in exile — he’d be in hiding.? Deep hiding. Because trying to? assassinate the President (no matter what the pretext) is the highest of high crimes.]

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