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  1. Posted: October 26, 2018In: Thriller

    A driver intent on picking up and murdering a hitch-hiker picks up a hitch-hiker intent on murdering a driver.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 26, 2018 at 10:05 am

    Nineteen words.High concept.Fits the genre.Bonus point: could be made on a low budget?It works for me:? I want to read the script.

    Nineteen words.
    High concept.
    Fits the genre.
    Bonus point: could be made on a low budget?

    It works for me:? I want to read the script.

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  2. Posted: October 26, 2018In: Student Loglines

    When his doctor tells him he only has one month to live, a recent grad and his best friend are determined to check everything off of his bucket list.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 26, 2018 at 9:35 am

    There's a potential? gem of a story here, but I think it needs some polishing.It can 't be a? very long or challenging bucket list if he thinks he can check off all the items in a mere month.? How many of them are merely trivial pursuits?? What if he must prioritize, focus all his remaining time andRead more

    There’s a potential? gem of a story here, but I think it needs some polishing.

    It can ‘t be a? very long or challenging bucket list if he thinks he can check off all the items in a mere month.? How many of them are merely trivial pursuits?? What if he must prioritize, focus all his remaining time and energy on the most meaningful, most important item on his list?? ?Which is…?

    And, of course, he doesn’t have a full month.? Because whatever is going to kill him has got to debilitate him before then.? It? isn’t incredible that his fatal disease is one that allows him to live robustly enough to keep checking off items until to the 23 hour and 59th minute of the last day of the month.

    More realistic would be a diagnosis and prognosis akin to the one given to? Professor? Randy Pausch of “Final Lecture” fame? who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given one year to live. (He lived for 321 days after his last lecture.)

    Which brings me to my greatest concern:? truth is stranger and more compelling than any fiction.? Every day, real people are given “death sentences”? like the one in this premise (only a more realistic time span).? ?What is there in this premise that can match, let alone trump the drama of? the life -in-the-face-of-imminent-death struggle of?real people like Randy Pausch?

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: October 20, 2018In: SciFi

    When a lonely teenager, raised by intelligent machines, dreams they are lying about the extinction of humankind, he decides to run away on a perilous quest to find other humans.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 26, 2018 at 6:37 am

    >>>He is tired of waiting for something to happenI thought the incitement to action was the dreams.? Which is more compelling and fitting it seems to me given he's being cast as a dude with a destiny.>>>He is capable of living from the fat of the land and confronting the perils thaRead more

    >>>He is tired of waiting for something to happen

    I thought the incitement to action was the dreams.? Which is more compelling and fitting it seems to me given he’s being cast as a dude with a destiny.

    >>>He is capable of living from the fat of the land and confronting the perils that have been evolving on this island

    ?Fat of the land? in the middle of the Outback?? I venture that?s not the image the word ?Outback? conjures up in most people?s minds.

    Whatever, if that?s the way it is in the world of your story, it?s seems to me to be overlooking some of the archetypal gold of the plot: to wit, he undertakes a hero?s journey; trekking out of the Outback is a rite of passage. It seems to me that every step of the way his survival should be in doubt; he faces seemingly insurmountable obstacles, life-threatening? jeopardy.?

    fwiw

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