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When a genetically-enhanced soldier escapes from a Military Black Site in New Mexico, his CIA handler struggles to find a way to apprehend him as the soldier leaves a trail of destruction throughout the United States.
Yes. What is the GMO GI's objective goal? Even if the GMO GI remains the problem instead of the protagonist, why is he on a violent rampage? All major characters should have an objective goal?
Yes.
What is the GMO GI’s objective goal?
Even if the GMO GI remains the problem instead of the protagonist, why is he on a violent rampage? All major characters should have an objective goal?
See lessUpon being diagnosed with lung cancer, a lifetime litterbug tries to make the world beautiful for his depressed granddaughter before he dies.
"Make the world beautiful" is general and an impossibility. His object goal needs to be *specific* and concrete*, something t's possible and credible for him to do. Like clean up all the trash in his neighborhood. Or town, if it's a small one. And why is his granddaughter depressed? How will cleaninRead more
“Make the world beautiful” is general and an impossibility. His object goal needs to be *specific* and concrete*, something t’s possible and credible for him to do. Like clean up all the trash in his neighborhood. Or town, if it’s a small one.
And why is his granddaughter depressed? How will cleaning up his act cure her? What’s the connection between her depression and his being a litterbug?
And what’s the inciting incident? His diagnosis or her depression?
See lessIn order to find the real killer, a conscientious rookie detective partners with a pleasure-android, who claims the prime suspect in a murder investigation is innocent.
Agree with Scott Danzig. It seems to be a cookie-cutter crime caper. The only different ingredient is the pleasure-seeking android. I suggest reframing the story with her as the protagonist, the pov character, the prime suspect. She's on the lam and must prove her own innocence, convince the detectiRead more
Agree with Scott Danzig. It seems to be a cookie-cutter crime caper. The only different ingredient is the pleasure-seeking android. I suggest reframing the story with her as the protagonist, the pov character, the prime suspect. She’s on the lam and must prove her own innocence, convince the detective she’s innocent, must discover the clues to the real culprit.
And I suggest the detective ought to be a seasoned, cynical, dogged veteran who has seen at all, heard every alibi, not a rookie. Make it harder — not easier — for her to persuade him of her innocence. A plot should be a conspiracy against the protagonist; the villain gets all the breaks; the protagonist shouldn’t get any. Like in “The Fugitive” where the prime suspect has to figure it all out by himself while being pursued by veteran, dogged FBI agent.
fwiw
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