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When a veteran intelligence officer, struggling to adjust to post-war life, begins to find secret codes everywhere she must follow the trail to satisfy her obsession. No matter how far that takes her.
YaelEinstein: I get a sense there of an interesting story in your premise, but I'm not yet sure. Which is to say, I'm not quite hooked on the concept. And that's the primary purpose of a logline, to hook a producer or director on a story idea, to excite his imagine, to engage his curiosity enough toRead more
YaelEinstein:
I get a sense there of an interesting story in your premise, but I’m not yet sure. Which is to say, I’m not quite hooked on the concept. And that’s the primary purpose of a logline, to hook a producer or director on a story idea, to excite his imagine, to engage his curiosity enough to want to read the script. A logline is a sales pitch for the script.
RE:
>>>she must choose between accepting her life as it is or chasing a great adventure that may not be real<<<
As a general rule, loglines (and plots, since a logline is a summary of a plot) are not about characters having to make a choice. Loglines (and plots) are about the *choice made*. More specifically, the choice made to pursue an *objective goal*, to solve an *urgent* *problem* before dire consequences (* the stakes*) occur.
The current logline lacks the elements I have indicated with asterisks. These are elements producers and directors demand to see in a logline. If they don't see them, they're not going to read the script. I suggest you continue to brainstorm your concept for ideas to infuse your concept with in those elements.
fwiw
See lessWhen a genetically-enhanced soldier escapes from a Military Black Site in New Mexico, his CIA handler struggles to find a way to apprehend him as the soldier leaves a trail of destruction throughout the United States.
I think the GMO super-soldier gone rogue is the more interesting character. Suggest making him the pov character, framing the story and logline around him.
I think the GMO super-soldier gone rogue is the more interesting character. Suggest making him the pov character, framing the story and logline around him.
See lessWhen a non-verbal young chef learns that her signature dish has been ripped off by a rival, she must win over a new elite clientele with her intuitive understanding of flavour and micro-dosing.
Again: what are the stakes? She must win over a new elite -- or else. And what is the obstacle that stands in her way? If she's already established her reputation with one smash hit, what's so hard about winning her clientele back , or a building a new one, with another dish?
Again: what are the stakes? She must win over a new elite — or else.
And what is the obstacle that stands in her way? If she’s already established her reputation with one smash hit, what’s so hard about winning her clientele back , or a building a new one, with another dish?
See less