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When the Abyss Men – the third generation of subatlantic colonists – return to the surface, starting a war with the native tribes, a reckless young woman from one of the most violent tribes is ready to do whatever it takes to keep her little sister safe – both from the Abyss Men and her own tribe.
One challenge with loglining ?SciFi stories is that they are about unfamiliar worlds. ?Since the brevity requirement precludes explaining that world, it is usually better to describe the story in familiar terminology. ?Introducing unfamiliar terms in a logline is usually a stumbling block.So while sRead more
One challenge with loglining ?SciFi stories is that they are about unfamiliar worlds. ?Since the brevity requirement precludes explaining that world, it is usually better to describe the story in familiar terminology. ?Introducing unfamiliar terms in a logline is usually a stumbling block.
So while subterranean is a familiar term, “subatlantic” is not. ?Now, ?I can guess “subatlantic” is akin to subterranean, but I shouldn’t have to guess. ?The logline is a promotional tool, to get movie makers to read the script. ?It should entice — not puzzle.
fwiw
See lessA grieving truck driver has a life affirming conversation with a mysterious stranger over his CB radio
As I said I can ?buy into the ambiguous nature of the call and ending, but I think the logline would benefit by clearly stating the source of the grief -- the why.
As I said I can ?buy into the ambiguous nature of the call and ending, but I think the logline would benefit by clearly stating the source of the grief — the why.
See lessAfter his son is shot in a drive-by, a gangster must use his crippled werewolf abilities to kill the vengeful vampire who has been attacking his gang.
Well, you gotta tell the story you gotta tell, and I respect that.However, ?your plot is an origin story for a multiple feature franchise which is why I asked myself (and now you): who is the audience for the franchise? ?(For darn sure, that's going to be the 1st question on the mind of any producerRead more
Well, you gotta tell the story you gotta tell, and I respect that.
However, ?your plot is an origin story for a multiple feature franchise which is why I asked myself (and now you): who is the audience for the franchise? ?(For darn sure, that’s going to be the 1st question on the mind of any producer: ?what is going to give the story line legs?)
If I read the box-office returns rightly, the core audience for every tent-pole film franchise that is a going concern is the youth-YA audience. ?How does your middle-aged dad appeal to that demographic? ?(VOD series appears to be a different market. ?Which venue are you aiming for, 21st century ?VOD , or 20th century theaters.)
>>I alternate between male and female protagonists. This one just happens to fall on the male turn.
Okay, but I suggest staying open to possibilities and discoveries. ?(FWIW: ?I am systematic to the point of ?OCD. ? Like with the Hollywood murder mystery I am writing. ?I always conceived it with a male protagonist because of the autobiographical elements. ?But one day, my protagonist rebelled against my OCD, ?underwent a ?creative sex change operation, became a woman. ?And, wow, the dramatic possibilities expanded exponentially. )
Yes, the hook of your story is werewolf gangs vs. vampire gangs. (Which kind of makes other elements negotiable, contingent.) I like the Latino angle — that would definitely appeal to that demographic. ?So, what is the ethnic ID of the vampire gang?
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