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A rewrite: When a young Muslim woman and a none Muslim man falls in love, they fight for their lives, when her betrothed hunts them to revenge his and his family’s honor.
I like the general premise of the story, Benneth, a conflict of faith and culture. ?It is definitely an improvement over your previous versions?And it is definitely topical. I think Foxtrot25's suggestion is an improvement, but I would like a clarification as to whom you see as the protagonist in thRead more
I like the general premise of the story, Benneth, a conflict of faith and culture. ?It is definitely an improvement over your previous versions?And it is definitely topical.
I think Foxtrot25’s suggestion is an improvement, but I would like a clarification as to whom you see as the protagonist in the story, the woman or the man? ?From whose pov are you going to tell the story? (And am I correct to believe that the woman is part of a family that has recently immigrated to Norway?)
See lessWhen the Abyss Men – the third generation of subatlantic colonists – return to the surface, starting a war with the native tribes, a reckless young woman from one of the most violent tribes is ready to do whatever it takes to keep her little sister safe – both from the Abyss Men and her own tribe.
Have you read H.G. Wells "The Time Machine"? ?A sci-fi classic. ?He ?elegantly ?and efficiently establishes the back story of how homo sapiens split into 2 species, the underworld species, the Morlocks and the surface world species, the Eloi. And he has a thematic purpose in splitting the purpose. WRead more
Have you read H.G. Wells “The Time Machine”? ?A sci-fi classic. ?He ?elegantly ?and efficiently establishes the back story of how homo sapiens split into 2 species, the underworld species, the Morlocks and the surface world species, the Eloi. And he has a thematic purpose in splitting the purpose.
What’s te thematic purpose in the split in your story? ?What’s the ?(subtext) conflict behind the (text) conflict? Or is it conflict just for the sake of conflict?
See lessA grieving truck driver has a life affirming conversation with a mysterious stranger over his CB radio
Yes, the movie "Locke" came to mind while reading the logline. ?In that movie, the protagonist had an urgent construction project deadline (ticking clock) ?objective goal ?which is complicated by the ?imminent by the birth of his child by his ex-lover, and a reckoning?with his wife which his why heRead more
Yes, the movie “Locke” came to mind while reading the logline. ?
In that movie, the protagonist had an urgent construction project deadline (ticking clock) ?objective goal ?which is complicated by the ?imminent by the birth of his child by his ex-lover, and a reckoning?with his wife which his why he is speeding toward London.? Those must’s were the source of ?the story’s external dramatic tension.
Locke has things he MUST urgently do. ?He’s driving because and being driven by crises and deadlines. ?What must your character urgently do while talking on the CB? ?What’s the ongoing crisis and/or that he must reckon with that provides the external dramatic tension in this story?
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