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  1. Posted: June 12, 2017In: Drama

    A grieving truck driver has a life affirming conversation with a mysterious stranger over his CB radio

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 13, 2017 at 12:06 am

    >>>the truck driver is not pursuing anything,The encounter can be random, ?and the nature of the conversation can be ambiguous. But TV is a visual medium and the spine of drama is a character pursuing a concrete goal, struggling to solve a specific problem that can be visualized, not just tRead more

    >>>the truck driver is not pursuing anything,

    The encounter can be random, ?and the nature of the conversation can be ambiguous. But TV is a visual medium and the spine of drama is a character pursuing a concrete goal, struggling to solve a specific problem that can be visualized, not just talked out. ?If there’s no goal, then there is nothing visible?to hook and hold ?an audience’s attention.

    The script for a TV show, albeit short, ?should show (visuals), not just tell (dialogue). ? Inner turmoil needs to be manifested in external conflict. What’s the point of using TV if there’s no visual action line, no external conflict? ?If the story is driven entirely by dialogue, then why not write it as a radio script? ?Or as prose, a short story?

    Just saying.

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  2. Posted: June 12, 2017In: SciFi

    When the Abyss Men – the third generation of subatlantic colonists – return to the surface, starting a war with the native tribes, a reckless young woman from one of the most violent tribes is ready to do whatever it takes to keep her little sister safe – both from the Abyss Men and her own tribe.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 12, 2017 at 11:40 pm

    Wow. ?An awful lot of backstory just to set up the main action. Maybe transmorgify the backstory into an origin story. ?IOW: ?think franchise. ?Focus on a script (and logline) for how this future world came to be. fwiw

    Wow. ?An awful lot of backstory just to set up the main action.

    Maybe transmorgify the backstory into an origin story. ?IOW: ?think franchise. ?Focus on a script (and logline) for how this future world came to be.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: June 12, 2017In: Drama

    A rewrite: When a young Muslim woman and a none Muslim man falls in love, they fight for their lives, when her betrothed hunts them to revenge his and his family’s honor.

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    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 12, 2017 at 11:35 pm

    Where is the story set? ? In what country/culture? ?In the present or in the past?

    Where is the story set? ? In what country/culture? ?In the present or in the past?

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