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>>>not sure being suicidal can work thoughI think her being suicidal will work because it gives her a compelling character arc: to wit, in the process of talking the man out of suicide, she also talks herself.Part of the standard definition of the protagonist is that she is a character whoRead more
>>>not sure being suicidal can work though
I think her being suicidal will work because it gives her a compelling character arc: to wit, in the process of talking the man out of suicide, she also talks herself.
Part of the standard definition of the protagonist is that she is a character who undergoes a character arc. ?If she is not the only character to arc, she is the designated character to undergo the primary character arc ?that underscores the theme of the story.
The suicidal man’s character arc is obvious: he doesn’t kill himself, seeks counseling. ?Well, if she’s the protagonist then what is her character arc?
See lessA career tramp turned conman has to save his loot and prison-time when his ex-wife comes undercover to help IRS nab him
I think Foxtrot25 is on to something. ?It might make for a more interesting story if the ex-wife were the protagonist when the IRS asks her to be the bait to catch her con artist husband. Recluse: Given the number of times you've posted on this premise, it seems that you're much attracted to the "caRead more
I think Foxtrot25 is on to something. ?It might make for a more interesting story if the ex-wife were the protagonist when the IRS asks her to be the bait to catch her con artist husband.
Recluse: Given the number of times you’ve posted on this premise, it seems that you’re much attracted to the “career tramp”, ex-con. Okay, but the problem is, none of the versions give us a reason to be attracted to him as the protagonist. ?Why should we not want him ?to be brought to justice, serve hard time for his crimes?
Just saying.
See lessHOW ABOUT: A soldier returns home with a desire to become a professional poker player, believing it is a safer lifestyle than fighting a war. So she thought until winning all the serial killer?s money.
This version is better in that it reveals a little more about what hand the story is playing with. (And I'm interested to see that the main character is a woman.)But, it still needs to show two ?more cards.This version does lay down the card ?of the inciting incident "until winning all the serial kiRead more
This version is better in that it reveals a little more about what hand the story is playing with. (And I’m interested to see that the main character is a woman.)
But, it still needs to show two ?more cards.
This version does lay down the card ?of the inciting incident “until winning all the serial killer?s money” ?– but ?in the wrong sequence. ?A logline should lead off with the inciting incident. ?But in this logline the inciting incident is buried, placed at the end.
Instead the logline leads off with 23 words ?that may be involved as backstory and prologue in the script proper, but for the purpose of a logline ?most of it is unnecessary. ?The need to know information for the logline is that she is a war vet.
Now the next card to fully show ?is what the serial killer does as a result of losing all his money to her. ?I’m guessing he tries to avenge the loss by killing her and reclaim his winnings. ?But I shouldn’t have to guess. ?That card that sets up her dramatic problem should laid down and turned over, in plain sight in the logline.
And I”m guessing that she must use her military training and experience to fight for her life. But, again, I shouldn’t have to guess. The logline should tell me. ?So lay down and turn over that card– her objective goal and struggle.
I’m guessing you’re holding some high cards in your story hand. The logline is the place to show them, not hide them. ?
Specifically, your logline needs to lay down cards for an interesting character (done), an inciting incident (done), a credible antagonist (done). ?Now show us the cards of 1] what action antagonist ?takes that puts her in mortal jeopardy, and 2] the action she must take to stay alive (objective goal and stakes).
Finally, it might enhance dramatic tension if she has suffered a war injury, a liablity that offsets her military assets. ?For example, could she be an amputee, or suffering from PTSD?
fwiw
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