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A French village and pacifist priest must work with a bloodthirsty resistance group to fight invading Nazi’s and save 5000 Jews from extermination using only their Protestant values, an amateur forger and a one-legged female spy. *True Holocaust Story*
The story is interesting, but even though it has a diverse ensemble cast, I think it would be better to frame the struggle around one central character as the protagonist. ?And to identify where the story takes place. ?So either, something like:The true story of how a pacifist [French, Polish, ItaliRead more
The story is interesting, but even though it has a diverse ensemble cast, I think it would be better to frame the struggle around one central character as the protagonist. ?And to identify where the story takes place. ?So either, something like:
The true story of how a pacifist [French, Polish, Italian or???] priest risked his life to save 5,000 Jews from the Nazi death camps by rallying the support of a violent resistance group, an amateur forger and a one-legged female spy.
Or better:
The true story of how a one-legged female spy helped to ?save 5,000 Jews from Nazi death camps.
Better because the one-legged spy ?is by far the strongest hook. ?You could but I don’t think you would have to name her nationality because more important is the fact that she was one-legged. ??And the logline is short and to the point. ?
Dare I say it fulfills the definition of a ‘ high concept’ story: 1] A unique character 2] whose objective goal can be stated in fewer than 20 words, and in the age of the internet 3] it can be stated as a tweet with characters to spare. ?A three-fer.?
And that is why the concept gets my vote.
See lessWhen an agoraphobic online student meets his soulmate, he gets a job at a bar to face his fear in public, only to find out that his love is a pop star.
What is it that you really, really want to explore in the story? ?Agoraphobia? ?Or is agoraphobia intended as a dramatic device to complicate the romantic relationship?
What is it that you really, really want to explore in the story? ?Agoraphobia? ?Or is agoraphobia intended as a dramatic device to complicate the romantic relationship?
See lessYour body is the asset, Social class is the Pyramid Scheme. California is the Guinea Pig & Chance is the Prodigal Son.
Uh, ?no it ?isn't self-explanatory. (Otherwise, I wouldn't have asked.)The logline (vaguely) defines a situation for a plot. ?But it doesn't clearly state what the plot is.(And if "Chance" is the name of the flesh and blood protagonist, loglines, as a rule, describe the main character by that personRead more
Uh, ?no it ?isn’t self-explanatory. (Otherwise, I wouldn’t have asked.)
The logline (vaguely) defines a situation for a plot. ?But it doesn’t clearly state what the plot is.
(And if “Chance” is the name of the flesh and blood protagonist, loglines, as a rule, describe the main character by that person’s defining characteristic, not a name or surname.)
Again, please review the guidelines under “Formula”.
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