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  1. Posted: November 10, 2016In: Student Loglines

    When a graffiti outbreak in a small town corresponds with recent child abductions in the county, a nerdy teenage boy has to crack the codes to save the children and become the town hero.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 10, 2016 at 3:49 am

    How about something like: When a nerdy teen realizes cryptic graffiti contain clues to a series of child abductions he must struggle alone to crack the code and rescue the children because no one believes him. (32 words)Or maybe:A nerdy teen struggles alone to crack the code in cryptic graffiti becaRead more

    How about something like:
    When a nerdy teen realizes cryptic graffiti contain clues to a series of child abductions he must struggle alone to crack the code and rescue the children because no one believes him.
    (32 words)

    Or maybe:

    A nerdy teen struggles alone to crack the code in cryptic graffiti because no one believes him that they are clues to a series of child abductions.
    (27 words)

    Although that may be too succinct.

    Whatever, in drama ?”become a town hero” is never the direct, overt objective goal. ?It’s the reward that accrues from ?achieving the objective goal which in this case is cracking the code, ?apprehending the villain, saving the children.

    ?And ?the setting, a small town, while germane to the script is not necessary to include in ?the logline. ?Rather, I suggest that a more important factor is the ?initial obstacle to achieving his objective goal: ?no one believes him. ?He must endure the slings and arrows of derision and rejection by his peers and his elders. ?He must trust his intuition, his own intelligence in defiance of what everyone else thinks and says.

    Anyway, I think this has the makings for an interesting movie that would appeal to the all-important youth market. ?Best wishes with your writing.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: November 7, 2016In: Thriller

    When a struggling reporter unknowingly steals a CIA hitman’s phone, he must save the next person on the hit list to expose a government cover up.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 9, 2016 at 10:40 pm

    As Nir Shelter said. ?Why must the reporter do the hit man's job? ?Why doesn't the reporter just let the hit man solve his problem by killing the target who threatens to expose him?

    As Nir Shelter said. ?Why must the reporter do the hit man’s job? ?Why doesn’t the reporter just let the hit man solve his problem by killing the target who threatens to expose him?

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  3. Posted: November 9, 2016In: Drama

    LOGLINE: A fame obsessed actress with more ambition than talent will must conceal her involvement in the murder of her fianc

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 9, 2016 at 9:23 pm

    Why particularly does she have to be an actress when there are so many other career options for a woman to still be in danger of becoming a lifer?And is she immediately implicated and arrested after the murder? ?Or do the police only have a body, but not a suspect? ?IOW: What is her real objective gRead more

    Why particularly does she have to be an actress when there are so many other career options for a woman to still be in danger of becoming a lifer?

    And is she immediately implicated and arrested after the murder? ?Or do the police only have a body, but not a suspect? ?IOW: What is her real objective goal: ?to avoid arrest or to avoid a life sentence (because she’s already been arrested)?

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