1. Posted: November 8, 2016In:

    After learning her mermaid mother has only a week to live, a disfigured teenager must choose between a conniving snake and a vengeful clown, the only ones who know where to find her.

    dpg Singularity

    Choose between them for what? ?As an adopting parent, I'm guessing. ?But I shouldn't have to guess.And what's at stake? Sure he's disfigured, but does that make him disabled, unable to care and provide for himself? ?And he's also a teen approaching adulthood ?so why can't he just ?fend for himself?Read more

    Choose between them for what? ?As an adopting parent, I’m guessing. ?But I shouldn’t have to guess.

    And what’s at stake? Sure he’s disfigured, but does that make him disabled, unable to care and provide for himself? ?And he’s also a teen approaching adulthood ?so why can’t he just ?fend for himself? ?How near (old) or far (young) is he away from that? Fending for himself seems to be the best choice ?- why would he want/need to rely on the other two, deeply flawed surrogate parents?

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  2. Posted: November 4, 2016In:

    When a zombie outbreak incites a racist massacre in her small Southern town, a pregnant teen must fight the undead – and her own family – to reunite with the child’s black father.

    dpg Singularity

    Having also lived in the South, I agree with Richiev. The concept/setting for the story is outdated, so yesteryear.Not that race relations aren't still complicated. ?They are. ?Sometime less complicated, sometimes more, but always complicated. And not just in South, but everywhere in the United StatRead more

    Having also lived in the South, I agree with Richiev. The concept/setting for the story is outdated, so yesteryear.

    Not that race relations aren’t still complicated. ?They are. ?Sometime less complicated, sometimes more, but always complicated. And not just in South, but everywhere in the United States.

    Maybe the concept could work if it is conceived as a metaphor, an allegory. ?But there’s no way of knowing from the logline. I would have to read the script. ?But if it’s being conceived as an exercise in pure, unallegorical mayhem, horror for its own sake ?it’s going to step on so many political, social and ethnic landmines on the way to making a movie ?out of the script– how many production companies would be willing to incur the risks?

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: November 7, 2016In:

    When a struggling reporter unknowingly steals a CIA hitman’s phone, he must save the next person on the hit list to expose a government cover up.

    dpg Singularity

    >>unscrupulous reporterI dunno. Not exactly a protagonist to sympathize with or root for. ?And his motives are purely selfish -- he's not trying to redeem himself, salvage his life; he's just trying to cover his own "seedy past", his own rear end.The fact that you are re-visiting the concept sRead more

    >>unscrupulous reporter

    I dunno. Not exactly a protagonist to sympathize with or root for. ?And his motives are purely selfish — he’s not trying to redeem himself, salvage his life; he’s just trying to cover his own “seedy past”, his own rear end.

    The fact that you are re-visiting the concept seems to indicate that it has hooked into your mind. ?What is the hook for you in the story and/or character?

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