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When his wife dies giving birth to her rapist?s child, a recovering alcoholic chooses to raise the baby alone to resolve his scorn.
Yes, this is a good story idea. ?Lots of opportunity for dramatic conflict and there will be instant sympathy for the man for doing the right thing, stepping up to the challenge. ?However, I ?suggest it needs a little polishing.Is the child a boy or girl? ?That needs to be specified in the logline bRead more
Yes, this is a good story idea. ?Lots of opportunity for dramatic conflict and there will be instant sympathy for the man for doing the right thing, stepping up to the challenge. ?However, I ?suggest it needs a little polishing.
Is the child a boy or girl? ?That needs to be specified in the logline because the nature of the relationship and twists and turns in the story are contingent on the sex of the infant.
And rather than than “to resolve his scorn” I suggest he does what he has to do, raise the child because that is what?he believes he must do ?– in spite of his feelings. ?IOW: he is his own antagonist. ?His negative feelings could not only destroy the relationship with the child but destroy the man by triggering a relapse into drinking.
This really does have the makings for a compelling story. ?Good luck with your writing.
fwiw
See lessAn outcast teenager teams up with his high school bully to take down the spirit of Al Capone, who has possessed a small Indiana town to rebuild his empire.
As the others have said. ?The math just doesn't add up in this logline.
As the others have said. ?The math just doesn’t add up in this logline.
See lessWhen their best friend suddenly dies, an aging couple must go on a road trip to scatter his ashes and rediscover happiness.
I agree with Moses99 that the logline needs some more specificity. ?Like, their departed friend asked in his will that his ashes be scattered in some place meaningful to both the living characters and their dead friend.?And what conflict arises as a result of their journey? ?What dramatic problem isRead more
I agree with Moses99 that the logline needs some more specificity. ?Like, their departed friend asked in his will that his ashes be scattered in some place meaningful to both the living characters and their dead friend.
?And what conflict arises as a result of their journey? ?What dramatic problem is created by their best friend’s last request that his (or her) ashes be scattered in a specific location?
I also agree that ?reference to “finding happiness” ought to be dropped from the logline for 2 reasons:
1] Loglines are about achieving an objective goal but “finding happiness” is the fulfillment of a subjective need. ?And in drama subjective needs ares usually (but not always) fulfilled as a byproduct of achieving the objective goal.
2[ But in this instance, I question the primary subjective need for the aged couple in the script proper. ? IMHO, it misses the mark. Their real subjective need is ?to work through the process of mourning. ?Not only for their friend, but for themselves, the lost relationship and their own inevitable and coming to terms with their own sooner-rather-than later deaths. That is a bona fide subjective need that arises from the death of a loved one. ?
Which leads me to ask: ??why would an audience want to go along on this journey? ?What’s in the road trip for them? ?IOW: to be crass and commercial: ?what’s the target audience? ?I think there is a market for movies about the issue of our own inevitable mortality. ?But I suggest they need to have something to say. ?What does this movie have to say about the fact that we are all eventually going to die?
fwiw
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