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  1. Posted: August 30, 2016In: Drama

    When rape victim Jasmina James escapes her captor, it sparks a series of events that lead to the arrest of America’s most notorious black serial killer, Anthony Sowell.? Inspired by true events.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 30, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    Agree with Nir Shelter.And who is the protagonist? ?The ?serial killer? ?The victim who escapes? ?Or someone else not mentioned in the logline, say a detective who puts the clues together and apprehends the killer?

    Agree with Nir Shelter.

    And who is the protagonist? ?The ?serial killer? ?The victim who escapes? ?Or someone else not mentioned in the logline, say a detective who puts the clues together and apprehends the killer?

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  2. Posted: August 27, 2016In: Drama

    A dangerous serial killer is the only survivor in a plane crash, when she was transported to a different prison, she is rescued by tibetans from remote high mountain village. After being treated from her injuries she faces a choice to leave the village or to merry 7 brothers of a family who took care of her, according to their matriarchal tradition.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 30, 2016 at 3:43 am

    Snail,The more I think about your story idea -- and the fact that I have been thinking about I take as a good sign that the idea has potential -- ?the more I think you've got a gold nugget of an idea for a comedy. ?As I see it, the hook of your concept is the situation, the setup, not the character.Read more

    Snail,

    The more I think about your story idea — and the fact that I have been thinking about I take as a good sign that the idea has potential — ?the more I think you’ve got a gold nugget of an idea for a comedy. ?

    As I see it, the hook of your concept is the situation, the setup, not the character. ?And?I suggest the situation,might benefit from some tweaking.

    Have you considered her crash landing in a remote Chinese village? ?The reason I say that is that because of China’s draconian one-child policy, only recently relaxed, ?there is a serious shortage of women. ?(An unintended consequence: because Chinese family culture prefers male babies, tens of millions of ?female fetuses have been aborted.) I just heard a story this morning?on the BBC?about a remote ?Chinese village of ?1,600 where there are 116 bachelors with no women around to marry. ? What if she crash-landed into a village like that?

    IOW: ?you don’ t need to make up a tradition to start your story. ?Just have her rescued by bachelor men of the village (or a group of brothers within such a village) who are so desperate they decide to propose to her as a “package deal”, ?a polyandrous marriage with all them. ? They make her an offer she can’t refuse: lots of benefits, attention, respect, money, clothes, the guys (or their mothers) doing all the housework, etc.

    In fact, she doesn’t need to crash land in the village. ?She could wander in as a tourist from another country. ?(A tourist fleeing from the frustration of another failed relationship or marriage because she didn’t the attention she expected, the respect she deserved.)

    Whatever, the demographic imbalance of too many men, too few women in China (and other countries like India) creates a ripe opportunity for a story. ? It’s a script somebody’s going to write. ? For a film I want to see. ?I hope it’s you.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: August 29, 2016In: Comedy

    In order to fit in, a group of fresh-faced college students join a quirky, offbeat club about spreading positivity that regularly forces them out of their comfort zones.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 30, 2016 at 2:40 am

    I think you've got a gem of an idea for a marketable series. ?Fitting in, enhancing one's social status is a big, big deal for most college kids, which means there's a ready-made audience who can empathize with the characters.. ?However, I would like to suggest that the gem would benefit from?some rRead more

    I think you’ve got a gem of an idea for a marketable series. ?Fitting in, enhancing one’s social status is a big, big deal for most college kids, which means there’s a ready-made audience who can empathize with the characters.. ?However, I would like to suggest that the gem would benefit from?some refining and polishing.

    The series obviously entails an ensemble cast, but I agree with Moses99 that it would be better if the logline focused on one alpha-character, the organizing principal for the ensuing plot line that drives the series, around whom the others coalesce.

    And in a logline I suggest it would be stronger to describe them as frosh ‘misfits’ or something similar rather than ‘fresh-faced’. ?Because that’s what they are, aren’t they, ?that’s their dramatic problem? ?Isn’t that what makes them desperate enough to overcome their inhibitions and better judgment and join.

    In casting an alpha-character as the organizing principal, I would like to suggest that he doesn’t join the club. ?Rather he creates the club; he comes up with the idea and persuades the others to join. ?As I understand the concept, in every episode somebody is going to come with or at least organize the troops to engage in a new wacky, off-the-wall idea for spreading “positivity”. ?That’s the job of the main character. ?So the plot line in the pilot should be focused on him (or her). ?(You do have women in the club , right? And the ensemble will be multi-ethnic?)

    So now, for the purpose of the logline you need to describe an inciting incident that occurs in the pilot episode that kicks of the plot line that?frames the series.

    Good luck with your writing.

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