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A street stupid teen struggles to sell methamphetamine looted from a crimescene to fund his dream of making it big in Hollywood, as he’s pursued by a psychopath cop.
One problem I have with the logline is that there doesn't seem to be any reason to root for the character to succeed. ?Just because the cop is "psychotic" doesn't make the young man?a sympathetic ?character. ?Why should I want him to make to Hollyweird, let alone make it in Hollyweird?For that matteRead more
One problem I have with the logline is that there doesn’t seem to be any reason to root for the character to succeed. ?
Just because the cop is “psychotic” doesn’t make the young man?a sympathetic ?character. ?Why should I want him to make to Hollyweird, let alone make it in Hollyweird?
For that matter, why do you want him to succeed? ?What’s the emotional hook in the story for you?
(And it’s more correct to describe the cop as a psychopath. ?A true psychotic can’t function as a cop — or in any other job. ?He wouldn’t have the mental clarity to pursue a cockroach, let alone a criminal.)
See lessHoneymooners in the mountains, a man and woman, witness a poaching. The poacher now wants them dead, As they fight for their lives, they learn that time is not what it seems.
As CraigDGriffiths said. ?If the "sizzle" of the steak --what makes the story unique and irresistible -- has something do with time, then don't hide or obscure it. Say it loud, say it clear.
As CraigDGriffiths said. ?If the “sizzle” of the steak –what makes the story unique and irresistible — has something do with time, then don’t hide or obscure it. Say it loud, say it clear.
See lessHoneymooners in the mountains, a man and woman, witness a poaching. The poacher now wants them dead, As they fight for their lives, they learn that time is not what it seems.
At 54 words, the logline is too long and complicated to properly evaluate. ? And it mentions the characters by name which violates standard practice.In 25 words or less (even if it seems unpolished and inadequate), try to answer the 4 basic questions ?every logline should answer:Who is the protagoniRead more
At 54 words, the logline is too long and complicated to properly evaluate. ? And it mentions the characters by name which violates standard practice.
In 25 words or less (even if it seems unpolished and inadequate), try to answer the 4 basic questions ?every logline should answer:
Who is the protagonist of this story (and just the protagonist)?
See lessWhat is the inciting incident?
As a result of the inciting incident, what becomes the protagonist’s objective goal? ?What must he do?
Who opposes or threatens the protagonist?