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A cheap con-artist attempts to outrun and outmuscle a Mexican cartel?s butcher by hiring an aspiring-but-clueless circus strongman for protection when he swindles them out of 50 million dollars.
What Nir Shelter said.And now the strongman is the pivotal character since he has been tagged to solve the con artist's problem. ?His predicament is more interesting. ?Might as well make him the protagonist, someone who unwittingly gets in deeper than he initially realized, had no idea how serious tRead more
What Nir Shelter said.
And now the strongman is the pivotal character since he has been tagged to solve the con artist’s problem. ?His predicament is more interesting. ?Might as well make him the protagonist, someone who unwittingly gets in deeper than he initially realized, had no idea how serious the threat was. Because if the con man had been honest about it, the strong man would probably have never taken the job or at the very least upped his price — demanded at least 1/2 of the take.
Also 50 million dollars seems absurdly high even for a comedy. ?His life would be in mortal danger for a fraction of that. ?But if that’s the number you want to go with, I don’t find it credible that the cartel wouldn’t send one butcher — he’d send an army of hit men to make sure the con artist was killed and the money returned.
See lessWhen two robbers conspire to rob from their rich friend’s arts gallery shop, stealing and selling an ancient sculpture to a ghost arts collector. Their success only attracts an endless torment that taunts them and their families until they retrieve and return their friend’s mysterious artifact.
Unfortunately, the logline is defective in several aspects:1] The characters are unsympathetic; there is no redeeming motivation for the theft. The audience has no reason to not want them to suffer. 2] "Endless torment" is vague; there is no clue about the torment that distinguishes from any other tRead more
Unfortunately, the logline is defective in several aspects:
1] The characters are unsympathetic; there is no redeeming motivation for the theft. The audience has no reason to not want them to suffer.
See less2] “Endless torment” is vague; there is no clue about the torment that distinguishes from any other torment inflicted on characters in any other horror film — there is no unique feature, no story hook.
3] “Until they retrieve and return their friend’s mysterious artifact” essentially gives away the ending. ?A logline should never give away the ending.
when a ghost appears to a lonely soldier suddenly just to advice him to leave his place in order to find love and suceed in it after having failed his first one.
As Richiev said. ?The logline ?is half complete. ?It sets up a situation (a man has failed at love) and an inciting incident (a ghost appears and tells him to do something).Now it needs to be completed by a brief statement as to what exactly the inciting incident incites him to do. ?What does"leaveRead more
As Richiev said. ?The logline ?is half complete. ?It sets up a situation (a man has failed at love) and an inciting incident (a ghost appears and tells him to do something).
Now it needs to be completed by a brief statement as to what exactly the inciting incident incites him to do. ?What does”leave his place” mean? ? How does that translate into a specific objective goal? ?And who or what opposes him?
If you haven’t already done so, please study the guidelines under the “Training” option at the top of the web page for how to build an industry acceptable logline.
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