1. Posted: April 26, 2012In:

    21 Years and 3 murders later the nightmare ends, and the story of a battered young man can be told.

    Chris Andrews Penpusher

    I think this sets the background of the story up nicely, but doesn't really give a solid indication of what the actual story will be about. Basically, I find it hard to picture just where this story will take me - is it a retelling from the present POV, or is it about moving on from trauma? It couldRead more

    I think this sets the background of the story up nicely, but doesn’t really give a solid indication of what the actual story will be about. Basically, I find it hard to picture just where this story will take me – is it a retelling from the present POV, or is it about moving on from trauma? It could be something else entirely. This is more a teaser than a logline.

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  2. Posted: May 9, 2012In: ,

    A callous human executioner of synthetic citizens becomes a target himself when he helps a humanoid and her daughter escape termination from a cybernetic slaughterhouse

    Chris Andrews Penpusher

    I really like this. the only thing I'd remove is the word 'callous'.

    I really like this. the only thing I’d remove is the word ‘callous’.

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  3. Posted: May 8, 2012In: ,

    After his daughter is killed by a drunk driver who goes free on a technicality, a circuit court justice takes sentencing into his own hands

    Chris Andrews Penpusher

    Nice. I can't see anything wrong with this. Evokes the tone, genre and feel of the movie, while being intriguing and insightful at the same time. My only crit would be that it's a bit of a tired storyline - but that's never stopped a movie from being made.

    Nice. I can’t see anything wrong with this. Evokes the tone, genre and feel of the movie, while being intriguing and insightful at the same time. My only crit would be that it’s a bit of a tired storyline – but that’s never stopped a movie from being made.

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