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When a conservative man adjusts to life in a wheelchair, he suddenly finds it difficult to achieve an erection. Snubbed by his busy, self-centered wife, and desperate to reclaim his virility, he must use something he hasn?t in years: porn. (Short Film)
Hello, I think it's a good idea for a short film, just make sure to work the logic... if the man can't have an erection, porn isn't a solution. Maybe it's just because he can't have an erection for his wife that he needs porn. Avoid the word "man"... be more specific. Make clear what is the incitingRead more
Hello,
I think it’s a good idea for a short film, just make sure to work the logic… if the man can’t have an erection, porn isn’t a solution. Maybe it’s just because he can’t have an erection for his wife that he needs porn.
Avoid the word “man”… be more specific.
Make clear what is the inciting event – the wheelchair or the wife snobbing him?
and make clear where is the source of conflict (or there is no story: a man is snobbed by his wife, he watches porn -end of the story) ?You can make the logline shorter, something like:
“When a conservative teologist on?a wheelchair is snobbed by his wife, he’ll find that to acces porn isn’t easy as he thought”, if the story is about a man on a wheelchair who need to access porn (visually, what action take place in the story).
Psychologically, I won’t put the blame on the wife, maybe it’s the man who feel unconfortable on his wheelchair and feels like he can’t love anymore, like he’s inadequate (a more complex character).
See lessWhen the daughter of a corrupt Mexican police chef of Iguala is kidnapped, he goes om a murderous rampage while unwillingly helped by a masked female vigilante who brutally revenges the endless killings of Mexican favela girls.
I think the story could work if a father and his masked daughter fights against the bad cops and the criminals, until he understand the truth and he must be killed by his daughter - VERY POWERFUL, action and tragedy - write it!
I think the story could work if a father and his masked daughter fights against the bad cops and the criminals, until he understand the truth and he must be killed by his daughter – VERY POWERFUL, action and tragedy – write it!
See lessWhen the daughter of a corrupt Mexican police chef of Iguala is kidnapped, he goes om a murderous rampage while unwillingly helped by a masked female vigilante who brutally revenges the endless killings of Mexican favela girls.
Hello, I think your problem is that you don't have an opponent... the masked woman helps him. So you have to find your opponent - ?who fights AGAINST the main character? Maybe the other corrupt cops? Maybe he is not the chief of the police (too much power in his hands).
Hello, I think your problem is that you don’t have an opponent… the masked woman helps him. So you have to find your opponent – ?who fights AGAINST the main character? Maybe the other corrupt cops?
See lessMaybe he is not the chief of the police (too much power in his hands).