Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When intruders break into her home, the ghost of a paraplegic must save her unsuspecting husband from the intruders’ sinister plan that involves planting venomous snakes in the husband’s closet.
I like A LOT the concept of a paraplegic fighting ?intruders but the logline need to be clear. "she?s actually dead",?actually? The problem is that the reader (me) has no clues about what actually is a dead paraplegic... a kind of ghost? I can't picture this movie in my mind with such a vague descriRead more
I like A LOT the concept of a paraplegic fighting ?intruders but the logline need to be clear.
“she?s actually dead”,?actually?
The problem is that the reader (me) has no clues about what actually is a dead paraplegic… a kind of ghost? I can’t picture this movie in my mind with such a vague description of the main character.
And no idea of what kind of interactions a ghost can have with the intruders.
“from the intruders? sinister plan”. You can avoid this sentence because it’s vague, it doesn’t mean anything – 2 possibilities, tell us what is the plan, tell us nothing. A logline is not a teaser.
See lessWhen an incorruptible young girl finds herself hired by a gang of thugs she faces prison time unless she can cover up or reverse their last crime.
Hello, focus about 1 specific inciting incident (what really puts the story in motion). It seems to me that the inciting incident is the discovery that her bosses?are gangsters : When a incorruptible secretary discovers her bosses are gangsters ... then what ?
Hello, focus about 1 specific inciting incident (what really puts the story in motion).
See lessIt seems to me that the inciting incident is the discovery that her bosses?are gangsters :
When a incorruptible secretary discovers her bosses are gangsters … then what ?
A animal activist discovers human experiments not animal during a raid. She must survive murderous security to rescue a test subject and tell the world the truth.
Hello, I love the idea of an animal activist who discover human experiments. This is an excellent initial situation in my opinion. I like the character of an animal activist.?I think many things can happens and everything in one night raid (one action time set). It starts with an "easy" mission (toRead more
Hello, I love the idea of an animal activist who discover human experiments. This is an excellent initial situation in my opinion. I like the character of an animal activist.?I think many things can happens and everything in one night raid (one action time set). It starts with an “easy” mission (to sneak in a makeup factory or whatever).?A group of activists. A clear turning point : there are humans experiments, a choice : to leave or trying to save a victim (a kid?) – the activists are killed one by one by the security. The mains characters may reach the lowest point when they are both kidnapped by the security. Then they escape and finally succed (or not).
Besides, I encourage you to work more on the logline format.
See less