1. Posted: September 17, 2015In:

    When naive but not stupid pizza master realized that he inherited a Mafia don, must confront the heads of the other families in order to bring the family business into legal channels.

    Best Answer
    FFF Mentor

    "When naive pizza master inherited a Mafia don, he must confront the 'family' to clean the business." I like the title.

    “When naive pizza master inherited a Mafia don, he must confront the ‘family’ to clean the business.”

    I like the title.

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  2. Posted: September 17, 2015In:

    When a policeman is murdered by a bikie gang, a disguised woman tries to dispose of the body, but she must convince the drug addicted pilot of her crashed plane, to hide the body before they can be rescued.

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, this writing seems to me a little messy, you should put the things in order to make it a better read.

    Hello,
    this writing seems to me a little messy, you should put the things in order to make it a better read.

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  3. Posted: September 17, 2015In:

    a terminally ill man sets out to take revenge on people from his past. But to his frustration they are dying before he can get to them.

    FFF Mentor

    What's the genre? It could be better as a dark comedy. I miss a clear inciting incident. Maybe the illness? And what kind of conflit could fuel the story? When a small burocrate is diagnosed of a deadly brain cancer, he sets out to take revenge on people from his past only to find they're all alreadRead more

    What’s the genre? It could be better as a dark comedy.

    I miss a clear inciting incident. Maybe the illness?

    And what kind of conflit could fuel the story?

    When a small burocrate is diagnosed of a deadly brain cancer, he sets out to take revenge on people from his past only to find they’re all already dead.

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