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When a reclusive, secretly psychic troubleshooter is threatened to do a job, or loose it, she and her ghostly toy T.Rex sidekick head to Berlin. When she “sees” the rail road company’s problem involves thiefs and Nazi’s, fixing this problem becomes a mission. I am sooo not done with this logline yet ( it is too long) but would love to hear your opinion on it. Greetings Mack I have put it in the superhero section because she has secret “powers”and fights evil (Nazi’s) with it.
You are getting even further away from the essence of whatever your story may be. Hired to help a nefarious outfit deal with a small problem, a psychic troubleshooter soon finds herself in trouble with the Nazi party as she tries to save... Just a beginning. you need to bring this close or to the enRead more
You are getting even further away from the essence of whatever your story may be.
Hired to help a nefarious outfit deal with a small problem, a psychic troubleshooter soon finds herself in trouble with the Nazi party as she tries to save…
Just a beginning. you need to bring this close or to the end of the of the 2nd act now.
See lessWhen a reclusive, secretly psychic troubleshooter is threatened to do a job, or loose it, she and her ghostly toy T.Rex sidekick head to Berlin. When she “sees” the rail road company’s problem involves thiefs and Nazi’s, fixing this problem becomes a mission. I am sooo not done with this logline yet ( it is too long) but would love to hear your opinion on it. Greetings Mack I have put it in the superhero section because she has secret “powers”and fights evil (Nazi’s) with it.
3-4 lines on this site seems to be ideal as far as a length guideline. When I first glance at a logline such as above, It immediately raises flags. The first problem being, do I want to navigate through a paragraph, or just skip to the next one? Do I want to read about the authors issues explained iRead more
3-4 lines on this site seems to be ideal as far as a length guideline. When I first glance at a logline such as above, It immediately raises flags. The first problem being, do I want to navigate through a paragraph, or just skip to the next one? Do I want to read about the authors issues explained in the logline? I think not. Explain where you are in relation to developing the logline lower down in the comment sections, this way we can see exactly where you are at and comment appropriately.
Threatened to do a job needs to be changed to something more forceful. T-rex, Berlin and a railroad confuse me. I’d start with breaking this down to its essence and working from there.
Good luck.
See lessSick of being ridiculed at, A down on the luck super hero sets 24 hours to solve any case .
This revised logline doesn't make any sense. And what happened to the super hero?
This revised logline doesn’t make any sense. And what happened to the super hero?
See less