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After her rich husband and her lover are found murdered on her living room floor, a beautiful woman must prove her innocence to avoid being murdered by the police while in custody.
I see 2 issues with the logline. 1. Mentioning on the living room floor in the logline. Not so important as to waste valuable space on. 2. The whole "in custody" part. If she was instead on the run and needing to prove her innocence or else "a crazy cop or two" may catch her and seek revenge, then wRead more
I see 2 issues with the logline.
1. Mentioning on the living room floor in the logline. Not so important as to waste valuable space on.
2. The whole “in custody” part. If she was instead on the run and needing to prove her innocence or else “a crazy cop or two” may catch her and seek revenge, then we will still need to explain a damn good reason for that. IE, The Fugitive. She can break out of custody, sure, kinda like in the movie Salt, but I just don’t see where the story can exist in custody for very long.
The blanket “by the police” sounds odd.
The mention of the rich husband builds intrigue and the murders. As mentioned above, “beautiful” is too generic. Think of another element in the story that describes her.
See lessWhen an extremely silent zookeeper loses a tiger in a tragic accident, her only chance of keeping her job is to negotiate with the peculiar caregivers of a traumatised former circus tiger.
Leo, I think you should look deep into your story to find the adjective that describes your characters as best as possible. Be honest, the audience is not stupid. :)
Leo,
See lessI think you should look deep into your story to find the adjective that describes your characters as best as possible. Be honest, the audience is not stupid. 🙂
A Scientist and Psychologist Couple manipulate the 2 Year Biosphere Living Experiment by selecting 4 lesbian Women and 4 heterosexual men. As the men go sex-crazy the Scientist allows them out for an evening, which ruins her psychological experiment and the couple, now accidentally locked inside, are at war with each other also. (Improved one from comments on this site. I hope to make this a comedy.)
You are still not covering what the goal is and what really must be overcome to achieve it.
You are still not covering what the goal is and what really must be overcome to achieve it.
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