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When two losers, tempted by the promise of money, get mixed up in the love triangle of two witches, they will need all their wits to get out of the mess.
This sounds more like a comedy than action. Lose two losers. That would only work in comedy. Looking to get rich quick, two down on their luck men match wits with a vengeful witch that... (what do they need to get away from?)
This sounds more like a comedy than action.
Lose two losers. That would only work in comedy.
Looking to get rich quick, two down on their luck men match wits with a vengeful witch that… (what do they need to get away from?)
See lessAfter witnessing his grandfather’s murder, a New Mexico high school senior has a nervous breakdown and travels to Taos to remake his life – assuming false personas that are inspired by magazines he collects – while being pursued by his grandfather’s killer, who he discovers is one of his best friends.
Roberto, Way too long and only is a setup. Your MC witnesses a murder. If I'm gonna root for this person, shouldn't what he knows be dealt with right then and there? Lose the whole magazine collecting. I don't care about that in a logline. If he is remaking his life, why would the killer care to folRead more
Roberto,
Way too long and only is a setup.
Your MC witnesses a murder. If I’m gonna root for this person, shouldn’t what he knows be dealt with right then and there?
Lose the whole magazine collecting. I don’t care about that in a logline.
If he is remaking his life, why would the killer care to follow him then?
Best friend? Don’t give that away in the log.
After the death of his only remaining family; his grandfather, a young man leaves his life behind only to find…
See lessAfter the abrupt revelation of a family secret forced a now twice orphaned boy into a life of seedy trailer parks, he sets out on a last-ditch journey to assemble a cast of family members he needs to make a home of his own.
This has a ton of stuff going on in a fairly compact log. Kudos. However, not much of it makes sense. 2x orphaned boy discovers a family secret and is living in trailer parks will then create a new family on his own? I doubt that happens. Is this a work of yours or an existing story?
This has a ton of stuff going on in a fairly compact log. Kudos.
However, not much of it makes sense. 2x orphaned boy discovers a family secret and is living in trailer parks will then create a new family on his own? I doubt that happens.
Is this a work of yours or an existing story?
See less