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When her reclusive father dies without a will, his washed-up rodeo queen daughter must gather her estranged siblings in order to settle his estate.
Right off the bat, you are using adjectives that seem to be unimportant.The father is dead, why is it important to describe his life as recluse? Daughter is a washed up rodeo queen? What does that even matter or even means? I can't even begin to think how that skill will help her family reunite. 1-8Read more
Right off the bat, you are using adjectives that seem to be unimportant.
The father is dead, why is it important to describe his life as recluse? Daughter is a washed up rodeo queen? What does that even matter or even means? I can’t even begin to think how that skill will help her family reunite. 1-800- lawyers can get this job done.
Let me try:
After a wealthy father dies, a desperate daughter must negotiate with her siblings in order to win the bulk of the family’s estate.
You can even further amp up the stakes by mentioning exactly why she needs money and how urgent it is for her to get it before something bad happens to her,
I hope the turn around and ending to this story is her reuniting with her family and changing her heart for good somehow, because that’s what people want to walk out of the theater feeling.
Or, maybe I have the story all wrong from the start.
See lessThat psychedelic drug would be developed by the person who cooked it getting to the highest purity range In the planet,in/on each individual will be processed differently and this is what alarms the person because it’d mean the reality on this world that the consumer is expiriencing COULD change.An entity would change it,anentity that uses the connection that occurs when the receptors in the brain receive the substance molecule(which can be related to all psychedelic drugs known to mankind including “the god’s molecule”) as it’s path to communicate with the person(man or woman). thriller/enhancer/ introspective/suspense (don’t think about stealing it or filtering it…this entity will know…I AM THE OWNER).
Yunsa, Comparing what you wrote to just about all of the other examples on this page should at least set off an alarm that you're doing something really wrong as it pertains to loglines. Most just miss the story beats, you missed the entire drum.
Yunsa,
Comparing what you wrote to just about all of the other examples on this page should at least set off an alarm that you’re doing something really wrong as it pertains to loglines. Most just miss the story beats, you missed the entire drum.
See lessA confident police chief in the Texas Hill Country finds a diary and discovers his entire life has been based on lies and deception, but the battle to dig through the past and unravel the truth becomes dangerous and could cost him his job, his family, and his sanity.
"Confident" is not worth mentioning about the MC. I recommend illustrating some sort of flaw that the audience can identify with. That works better. Since he is devastated by the lies, you should ?somehow mention that he is very honest, somehow.The whole "find a diary thing" is too small to mentionRead more
“Confident” is not worth mentioning about the MC. I recommend illustrating some sort of flaw that the audience can identify with. That works better. Since he is devastated by the lies, you should ?somehow mention that he is very honest, somehow.
The whole “find a diary thing” is too small to mention in the logline.
After discovering his career is based on a lie, an upstanding police chief must uncover the deception that now threatens his life and the lives of his family.
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