Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A young software programmer builds a loving avatar, which is the complete opposite of his personality. When this avatar frees a beautiful woman from her captors, embezzes a casino, and circumvents national security, he decides it’s time to cross the border: just have to try not to get killed on the way.
Based on your response to Richiev and me, I took some liberties with your story - make this your own. Leaning towards: “When his virtual dark side persona wreaks havoc across the city, a marked programmer must reinvent his good guy identity in order to escape across the US border” Take care.
Based on your response to Richiev and me, I took some liberties with your story – make this your own.
Leaning towards:
“When his virtual dark side persona wreaks havoc across the city, a marked programmer must reinvent his good guy identity in order to escape across the US border”
Take care.
See less“When a group of social justice ANTIFA wannabe’s attack his retirement community, a legendary retired hitman and his old mob buddies show the young punks, they messed with the wrong town.”
Richiev, 1. Why would ANTIFA care about a bunch of old farts - missing that connection. 2. Not sure about the marketability of ANTIFA being in the logline 😉 probably could lose, and by the sounds of this logline - I would lay off the CNN for a while (jk) 3. Removed “wannabes” (too soft of a threat)Read more
Richiev,
See less1. Why would ANTIFA care about a bunch of old farts – missing that connection.
2. Not sure about the marketability of ANTIFA being in the logline 😉 probably could lose, and by the sounds of this logline – I would lay off the CNN for a while (jk)
3. Removed “wannabes” (too soft of a threat) and “retired” not needed because you included location.
Make this your’s brother, leaning towards:
“Threatened by social justice extremist hell-bent on destruction, a legendary hitman must reassemble his old mob buddies to defend their beloved retirement community”
A lonely and renegade pigeon must abandon his reluctance and join the other park residents to expose a corrupt official, stop construction of the mall and save the old fountain, before the end of Independence Day.
That’s compelling – the fountain is the birthplace of this renegade pigeon. This is your anchor, the park residents need the water and safety, your protag wants to save his birthplace, where everything was good (before he became a renegade). This is a believable reason why he would act to join the oRead more
That’s compelling – the fountain is the birthplace of this renegade pigeon. This is your anchor, the park residents need the water and safety, your protag wants to save his birthplace, where everything was good (before he became a renegade). This is a believable reason why he would act to join the others now. I get the Independence Day reference, but in your OP that hit me from left field, that’s why I included “ground-breaking” so I can immediately envision something being destroyed to create new.
Use Richiev example along with these points to recreate your logline – you’re getting there!
Take care.
See less