1. Posted: June 16, 2020In:

    An animal-hating animal control officer wakes up as a stray dog and must find a way to turn back but when he’s impounded and scheduled to be put down he instigates a jailbreak to save himself and the other end-of-lifers

    Odie Samurai

    Since this is a family show, I ran your logline past my 11 years old – he was not a fan of “hating”, also “officer” and "instigate" threw him off the story. So, I familied it up – picture my kid reading your movie blurb at the Redbox   ;)A diabolical dog catcher is transformed into a mutt and sets oRead more

    Since this is a family show, I ran your logline past my 11 years old – he was not a fan of “hating”, also “officer” and “instigate” threw him off the story. So, I familied it up – picture my kid reading your movie blurb at the Redbox   😉

    A diabolical dog catcher is transformed into a mutt and sets out on a mission to reverse the curse but when he’s caught and impounded he must bust out with his buddies in danger to complete the mission

    Fun stuff Mike – take care..

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  2. Posted: June 10, 2020In:

    In the near future a young woman works for a corrupt committee imposing radical parental exams on couples to control population growth.

    Odie Samurai

    In 1979 China implemented measures to control their population – so this is not the near future, this is now. Think about this to ensure you have a different more interesting timeline in your near future. If you peruse the annual The Black List loglines “young” is prevalent, but please state a traitRead more

    • In 1979 China implemented measures to control their population – so this is not the near future, this is now. Think about this to ensure you have a different more interesting timeline in your near future.
    • If you peruse the annual The Black List loglines “young” is prevalent, but please state a trait for this young woman to give me/us better insight into your protag?
    • Having a hard time focusing on this corrupt committee, is this a PTA from hell? Does she reluctantly work for this committee? I like the idea of her working on the committee but finding out she is on the no to younglings list ? thus driving her story.
    • I get the radical parental part, but exams do not sound imposing or menacing (unless I am back in college). Think about a way to amp this up e.g. “XXX reluctantly works for a childless corrupt committee that imposes their radical parental will XXX” – makes my blood boil just thinking about this ?

    I would love to see another version based on all the input provided thus far in the comments – take care!

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  3. Posted: June 4, 2020In:

    A moving man, unaware of valuable objects in his storage, finds himself chased by mobsters on one side and the US military on the other.

    Odie Samurai

    Sounds interesting. Please provide input so I or the community can assist. What are some traits of this moving man? "A dimwitted mover" What is his goal – besides evading the mob/gov? What is he trying to achieve for the majority of your story? E.g. Proof that Lee Harvey Oswald is alive and well inRead more

    Sounds interesting. Please provide input so I or the community can assist.

    • What are some traits of this moving man? “A dimwitted mover”
    • What is his goal – besides evading the mob/gov? What is he trying to achieve for the majority of your story? E.g. Proof that Lee Harvey Oswald is alive and well in Italy or prove his innocence?
    • Valuable objects are vague, leaves way too much to the imagination – what are they or it? This maybe your hook.
    • What are the stakes? If he fails does he lose his family or be killed?

    Take care.

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