1. Posted: May 22, 2020In:

    An? wheelchair-bound college girl must use her physical abilities and mental acumen to save her trapped friends from zombies who have surrounded their cottage.

    Odie Samurai

    I get this wheelchair-bound character it helps to ramp up the primal fear factor, but in horror movies remember evil is the star. That is what folks are paying to see. If you want a story where your wheelchair-bound character prevails e.g. ?girl must use her physical abilities and mental acumen to sRead more

    I get this wheelchair-bound character it helps to ramp up the primal fear factor, but in horror movies remember evil is the star. That is what folks are paying to see. If you want a story where your wheelchair-bound character prevails e.g. ?girl must use her physical abilities and mental acumen to save? shoot for a Thriller or in this case Thriller-horror mashup.
    Curious to know if you are going to rewrite based on the coverage you received.
    If so, I would pay to see the following ?

    • A murderous girl clique lures an easy target (wheelchair-bound girl) to their lake cabin kill zone but gets the shock of their life when they discover she teams up with their former victims (zombies) to turn the tables.
    • A wheelchair-bound girl must escape from the observation deck of a quarantined Empire State Building during a blackout as hordes of zombies chew their way up the 102 floors.

    Take care.

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  2. Posted: May 19, 2020In:

    250 years after an asteroid impact leaves one side of Earth continually facing the sun, a lone outsider tries to find a new home in an increasingly more hostile world with the help of a physical manifestation of his soul.

    Odie Samurai

    Sounds intriguing dandahlson, When I first read the logline, I read into it ?a lone outsider tries to find a new world? ? because I couldn?t wrap my head around this asteroid stopping the rotation/axis of the earth so that only a single side faces the sun? Please elaborate. "a lone outsider" is hardRead more

    Sounds intriguing dandahlson,

    • When I first read the logline, I read into it ?a lone outsider tries to find a new world? ? because I couldn?t wrap my head around this asteroid stopping the rotation/axis of the earth so that only a single side faces the sun? Please elaborate.
    • “a lone outsider” is hard to picture, I get since the asteroid there are fewer folks, but I believe this protag description can be strengthened. Why is he an outsider?
    • Add more intent by replacing ?tries to find? with: must, is forced, etc.
    • Why is the world more hostile? Is it now a post-apocalyptic setting? Are earth’s creatures/people feral?
    • I see this physical manifestation (soul) as him talking to himself as he journeys, is that right?
    • Finally, what happens if he does not find a new home in time or loses is his soul?

    Take care.

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  3. Posted: May 12, 2020In:

    Post suicide attempt, an intensely self-analytical young woman stumbles through the reality of living when she expected to be dead, whilst wryly reflecting on how her time in a military academy led her there.

    Odie Samurai

    It sounds interesting mlenyesoe, but a couple of questions please: Did she attempt suicide while she was in the academy? Her being in a war is not in your logline, so it sounds like the academy broke her? What would we watch for the majority of your script? This is what I can ?see? so far: ACT 1: ShRead more

    It sounds interesting mlenyesoe, but a couple of questions please:

    • Did she attempt suicide while she was in the academy? Her being in a war is not in your logline, so it sounds like the academy broke her?
    • What would we watch for the majority of your script?
      This is what I can ?see? so far:
      ACT 1: She is in trouble > She attempts suicide > She contemplates about what led her to that point.
      ACT II: What?s next? As you can see ?stumbles through the reality of living? is vague.
    • What is her goal? To get help for PTSD and have a family? To get revenge for the academy’s wrongdoing?
    • What is her opposition or conflict? Her disease? A drill Sargent?
    • What are the stakes in your story? What happens if she doesn?t get help does she kill or finally kill herself?

    Hope this helps.

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