Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A mousey, risk adverse,Japanese/American single mom, takes on the Tokyo mafia to rescue her long lost brother and restore her family’s art fortune.
An interesting premise for senior actors! Consider the following: When is your story set? In 2022, your protag is 65+ and her brother is 70+? You would think the brother would be a Yakuza Family Head or some senior member by now. Since this is the only family he’s known, I did a double-take on the rRead more
An interesting premise for senior actors!
Consider the following:
When is your story set? In 2022, your protag is 65+ and her brother is 70+?
You would think the brother would be a Yakuza Family Head or some senior member by now. Since this is the only family he’s known, I did a double-take on the rescue plot.
Which Major Event (Art/Brother) is her call to action? My vote is the art and to keep the brother discovery plot in the shadows until ACT II.
What is the connecting tissue between the Buddhist Monastery and the Yakuza?
Workshopping the structure:
When discovering [WWII secreted family art], retired Japanese American sets out to [Japanese Buddhist monastery] with a group of courageous seniors on a hail marry mission to reclaim her inheritance/fortune under the protection of the infamous Tokyo mafia/Yakuza gang”
The B story can be the brother e.g., brother turns from the dark side to help sis, Yakuza wants the spoils and them dead.
Hope you find this constructive, make this yours – keep going!
See lessFalion’s blind adherence to duty and honor and a curse that prevents him from ever touching another, isolate the half-blood in the backwater human village to which he was banished; but when undertaking a quest to avenge a murdered boy and rescue his lord’s daughter allows him to return home to his beloved Lumiden, city of the immortals, the tangle of lies and deceptions he uncovers shatters his ideals and forces him to sacrifice his true love, his honor, and everything he thought was sacred to save the life of his mortal enemy to avert a war that could devastate his world…and others.
Intriguing synopsis. Check out the “Formula” link in the header for logline structure help. The goal is to get your logline in an industry-standard state where we (readers) can provide constructive feedback.
Intriguing synopsis. Check out the “Formula” link in the header for logline structure help. The goal is to get your logline in an industry-standard state where we (readers) can provide constructive feedback.
See lessA Latin American immigrant teen who is also of Chinese descent lives his “Wonder Years” trying to fit in a half black, half white small Missisippi town in the 1980s.
This is what I’m able to glean: “Set in a 1980s Mississippi town, a mixed-race Latino teen must overcome racism in order to [GOAL]” OR “… overcome prejudice against immigrants …” OR Show “Wonder Years” e.g., “… racism when falling for the mayor’s daughter” Hope you find this constructive, make thisRead more
This is what I’m able to glean:
“Set in a 1980s Mississippi town, a mixed-race Latino teen must overcome racism in order to [GOAL]”
OR
“… overcome prejudice against immigrants …”
OR
Show “Wonder Years” e.g., “… racism when falling for the mayor’s daughter”
Hope you find this constructive, make this yours – keep going!
See less