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  1. Posted: April 11, 2012In: Public

    Devon Howard has built the best police force in the history of New York City. Now they’re turning on him. Will Howard win the war on crime and lose the troops?

    it52
    Added an answer on April 11, 2012 at 11:48 pm

    Also, a logline should be one sentence. You have three and there shouldn't be a question in it either. I do agree with the comments above. I don't think you need the characters name, but rather his function would be better.

    Also, a logline should be one sentence. You have three and there shouldn’t be a question in it either. I do agree with the comments above. I don’t think you need the characters name, but rather his function would be better.

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  2. Posted: April 11, 2012In: Public

    A dedicated and passionate elementary school teacher attempts to win over his female co-worker but a sexual experience forced upon by a guy challenges everything in his life.

    it52
    Added an answer on April 11, 2012 at 3:15 am

    The gay experience is in the inciting incident. It's a bit of an inner journey but there is a lot of action that shows that. I guess I'll just explain the story. His childhood friend visits for a couple of days in town so the protagonist visits him. Long story short, he childhood friend gives him aRead more

    The gay experience is in the inciting incident. It’s a bit of an inner journey but there is a lot of action that shows that. I guess I’ll just explain the story. His childhood friend visits for a couple of days in town so the protagonist visits him. Long story short, he childhood friend gives him a blowjob by force. That’s the inciting incident. The protagonist comes to terms with this because deep down he actually liked it.

    Act two starts after answering a sex ad on craigslist that his roommates were looking at, making fun of those people that post the ads. The protagonist meets this stranger from the ad to get a blowjob but chickens out at the last minute. The guy he meets gives him a bj anyway.

    The protagonist also has a girlfriend and his female co-worker is married so maybe I should include the protagonists girlfriend in the logline as well since she is an antagonist? He also doesn’t really love his girlfriend but pursues the relationship anyway. He thinks he loves her but he really doesn’t. He just doesn’t want to be alone.

    The midpoint in the story is when he discovers that the guy he met through the craigslist ad is really the female co-workers/teachers husband.

    I’m a little confused when you ask what does he try to achieve after the experience? He realizes that he isn’t gay and that he really does love his co-worker/teacher.

    It’s also a comedy. I’m not sure how to portray that in the logline though.

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  3. Posted: April 10, 2012In: Public

    Having lost everything to the I.R.S., a wealthy and materialistic New York executive couple is forced to start all over again with nothing? in the heart of the Bermuda Triangle!

    it52
    Added an answer on April 11, 2012 at 2:54 am

    When I read your logline, I didn't get the impression that it was a romantic comedy. Also the Bermuda Triangle idea sounds a little random. Maybe you can imply that they are forced to go to the Bermuda Triangle? Maybe they go on one last vacation and they get sucked into the Bermuda Triangle and theRead more

    When I read your logline, I didn’t get the impression that it was a romantic comedy. Also the Bermuda Triangle idea sounds a little random. Maybe you can imply that they are forced to go to the Bermuda Triangle? Maybe they go on one last vacation and they get sucked into the Bermuda Triangle and they have to find a way out and they both bond again and their relationship starts over. They both rediscover their love for each other.

    It could be a cool horror/suspense/adventure movie but I don’t see it as a comedy right now.

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