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A bullied, outcast teen exacts revenge at a Halloween Haunted Prison by commanding the evil spirits of the violent inmates that died in a riot there fifteen years earlier, only to discover that his lifelong nemesis is really his illegitimate brother.
It sounds like a lot for a logline to me. Not sure if that's right or not. Maybe you are telling too much or giving too much of the story away? I don't think we need to know it's at a Halloween Haunted Prison. I think you can take that part out. Also, why would he command evil spirits that died? IsRead more
It sounds like a lot for a logline to me. Not sure if that’s right or not. Maybe you are telling too much or giving too much of the story away? I don’t think we need to know it’s at a Halloween Haunted Prison. I think you can take that part out. Also, why would he command evil spirits that died? Is he a warlock or is he into Witchcraft?
A bullied, outcast teen exacts revenge by resurrecting evil sprits to haunt them but things go wrong and now he must stop the evil spirits destruction.
I know that’s probably not you’re story but right now knowing it’s his illegitimate brother doesn’t exactly hook me into reading it at the moment.
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