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Struggling to relate to others, a pet psychiatrist spins out of control thanks to his estranged wife, a high school crush, and an obsessed cat owner.
What a great premise! Am looking forward to reading THAT story! Here are my thoughts. "Relate to others" is a little cliched and doesn't have much power behind it. The "others", I assume, are human beings? I also think starting with the subordinate clause in this case weakens the statement, so: "A pRead more
What a great premise! Am looking forward to reading THAT story!
Here are my thoughts. “Relate to others” is a little cliched and doesn’t have much power behind it. The “others”, I assume, are human beings? I also think starting with the subordinate clause in this case weakens the statement, so:
“A pet psychiatrist, struggling with his human relationships,…”
“spins out of control” is also cliched and vague. Can you show us that he’s “spinning out of control” with a few words that are more descriptive?
See lessA young mineworker with considerable magical powers, yearning for a better life, manages to gain an apprenticeship with a dark group of wizards, and soon learns that finding personal happiness entails as many deadly perils as choosing sides in the struggles between power-hungry factions.
I should have added that what I like about this is that it colors that 'meaningful life' he seeks -- that is, he is now looking at a cost that may not be worth it.
I should have added that what I like about this is that it colors that ‘meaningful life’ he seeks — that is, he is now looking at a cost that may not be worth it.
See lessA young mineworker with considerable magical powers, yearning for a better life, manages to gain an apprenticeship with a dark group of wizards, and soon learns that finding personal happiness entails as many deadly perils as choosing sides in the struggles between power-hungry factions.
His apprenticeship to these wizards occupies a full 2/3 of the book, and at the start is *the* thing he most wants, so I feel it needs to be included. And the warring factions aren't just wizards -- there are several groups who all want the same thing (or prevent the thing from being obtained). So,Read more
His apprenticeship to these wizards occupies a full 2/3 of the book, and at the start is *the* thing he most wants, so I feel it needs to be included. And the warring factions aren’t just wizards — there are several groups who all want the same thing (or prevent the thing from being obtained).
So, what about this:
A mineworker, blessed with magical powers that earn him an apprenticeship with a group of dark wizards, finds that he can only gain the meaningful life he seeks by choosing between warring, power-hungry factions.
Or is that getting too wordy again? It does still feel just a bit long, but it’s very close.
See less