1. Posted: January 6, 2013In:

    A young artist struggles with her newfound spiritual powers after being visited by the angel of prophetic revelation.

    jde Penpusher

    Thanks for your comment. You're right that struggles isn't enough of an active conflict. I'll have to rework the logline. And the "angel of prophetic revelation" bit could best be changed to Archangel Gabriel, although I don't think most would know that he's the angel of the prophets. Thank you agaiRead more

    Thanks for your comment. You’re right that struggles isn’t enough of an active conflict. I’ll have to rework the logline. And the “angel of prophetic revelation” bit could best be changed to Archangel Gabriel, although I don’t think most would know that he’s the angel of the prophets.

    Thank you again.

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  2. Posted: January 6, 2013In:

    A young artist struggles with her newfound spiritual powers after being visited by the angel of prophetic revelation.

    jde Penpusher

    I took your suggestion in the other logline thread for A Fury Unleashed and made the focus on her powers unfolding and left out any mention of a cosmic war. I hope you like this version better.

    I took your suggestion in the other logline thread for A Fury Unleashed and made the focus on her powers unfolding and left out any mention of a cosmic war. I hope you like this version better.

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  3. Posted: January 5, 2013In:

    After wrongly being convicted of a crime, three hundred years in the future, a former elite soldier is sent to an experimental prison camp on a distant moon, only to be drawn into a violent conflict between an ancient civilization and his fellow prisoners.

    jde Penpusher

    I agree with timmyelliot about the "three hundred years in the future" phrase. It made me think of time travel as well. I think this is a really good logline. The reader knows who the protagonist is, what the conflict is, and with whom.

    I agree with timmyelliot about the “three hundred years in the future” phrase. It made me think of time travel as well.

    I think this is a really good logline. The reader knows who the protagonist is, what the conflict is, and with whom.

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