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In a war torn city in Somalia, an American military mission to capture a ruthless general bent on Genocide. Finds themselves out gunned and overwhelmed when a black hawk helicopter is shot down and the mission becomes a blood bath.
BLACKHAWK DOWN! :-) Great movie ... How about this instead? "An American military operation becomes a massacre when supporters of a ruthless Somalian regime lock down a war torn city with staunch resistance."
BLACKHAWK DOWN! 🙂 Great movie …
How about this instead?
“An American military operation becomes a massacre when supporters of a ruthless Somalian regime lock down a war torn city with staunch resistance.”
See lessTrue story of a brilliant professional gambler and the owner of an elegant sporting parlor defending his life against a evil U.S.Marshal, who in a jealous rage is seeking out a personal vendetta in the American south during the late 1880's.
Snip, snip! Let's cut this down to size and try to truncate it into one sentence. Hope this fits your expectations - here we go! "A professional gambler and an owner of a sporting parlor conspire against a corrupt U.S. Marshal in the American south of 1887." Without having read your work, I'm only gRead more
Snip, snip! Let’s cut this down to size and try to truncate it into one sentence. Hope this fits your expectations – here we go!
“A professional gambler and an owner of a sporting parlor conspire against a corrupt U.S. Marshal in the American south of 1887.”
Without having read your work, I’m only guessing this may fit your storyline (I’m hoping it does).
I don’t think it’s imperative to write “true story” … save that for a SUPER line in the script. But it’s essential to trim the fat off your logline while keeping the flavor.
See lessAs a lifeguard struggles to cope with his wife's suicide, his emotions are at breaking point when the rapist responsible for her sorrow pleads for help.
Agreed - the revised logline reads much better! I can't think of any way to improve that one, but how about this because the beginning sounds like he's coping with her suicide while feeling conflicted about saving her rapist (at the same time). "A lifeguard struggles to cope with his wife's suicideRead more
Agreed – the revised logline reads much better! I can’t think of any way to improve that one, but how about this because the beginning sounds like he’s coping with her suicide while feeling conflicted about saving her rapist (at the same time). “A lifeguard struggles to cope with his wife’s suicide and his ethics are ultimately tested when her rapist is drowning on his watch.”
Maybe … maybe not?
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