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A young mineworker with considerable magical powers, yearning for a better life, manages to gain an apprenticeship with a dark group of wizards, and soon learns that finding personal happiness entails as many deadly perils as choosing sides in the struggles between power-hungry factions.
I think it works! I just have only two tweaks with it ... (1) Replace "dark" wizards with something a bit more shocking or ironic like "unscrupulous" or "immoral" or "deceitful". When I think of wizards, I think about the ones that operate for the power of good. So I've twisted this notion with an iRead more
I think it works! I just have only two tweaks with it …
(1) Replace “dark” wizards with something a bit more shocking or ironic like “unscrupulous” or “immoral” or “deceitful”. When I think of wizards, I think about the ones that operate for the power of good. So I’ve twisted this notion with an ironic adjective …
(2) I’m on the fence with using “meaningful”. I understand what you mean – you want to emphasize this goal. But if the mineworker is seeking a life other than the one he’s led up to this point, then I feel it’s inferred already and doesn’t need to be echoed in the logline. Thoughts?
See lessStruggling to relate to others, a pet psychiatrist spins out of control thanks to his estranged wife, a high school crush, and an obsessed cat owner.
Excellent points - I never did feel "comfy" with mine, so in a sense it was bland with the generalized phrases. But I did have trouble with the number of commas when the subordinate was moved. What are your thoughts on the below? "Struggling with his personal relationships, a pet psychiatrist risksRead more
Excellent points – I never did feel “comfy” with mine, so in a sense it was bland with the generalized phrases. But I did have trouble with the number of commas when the subordinate was moved. What are your thoughts on the below?
“Struggling with his personal relationships, a pet psychiatrist risks love, career, and sanity thanks to his estranged wife, a high school crush, and an obsessed cat owner.”
And thank you for the kind compliment – I’ve completed Act 1 and have a four page treatment completed (albeit, a rough draft), so Act 2 is underway. Just need to take my notes on outrageous dialogue and weave them into the storyline. 🙂
See lessA top dog mob boss has a tearful nervous breakdown just two weeks before a historic mafia meeting. Hoping for a quick cure, he decides to invade the life of a neurotic psychologist that ends up shaking up the life of his therapist, as well as his own.
Hey Justin - you're picking out some awesome movies! "Can a neurotic psychotherapist retain his own sanity and safety while treating a highly anxious Mob boss just weeks before a Mafia summit?"
Hey Justin – you’re picking out some awesome movies!
“Can a neurotic psychotherapist retain his own sanity and safety while treating a highly anxious Mob boss just weeks before a Mafia summit?”
See less