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A well-dressed fashion mannequin desperately wants to build a real life of friends, family, work and love – but his true nature is catastrophically revealed during a date with the woman of his dreams.
I like it, but perhaps this would work better? "A fashion mannequin's dream comes true when he comes to life, but is short lived when he falls for the love of his life." Who is the woman? The mannequin's dresser? A clerk? A shopper? A random passer-by when on her way to work? That may help specify tRead more
I like it, but perhaps this would work better?
“A fashion mannequin’s dream comes true when he comes to life, but is short lived when he falls for the love of his life.”
Who is the woman? The mannequin’s dresser? A clerk? A shopper? A random passer-by when on her way to work? That may help specify the logline a bit more … I’m looking forward to learning more!
See lessStruggling to relate to others, a pet psychiatrist spins out of control thanks to his estranged wife, a high school crush, and an obsessed cat owner.
Just realized I should've clicked on the "Reply" link instead of posting a new comment. haha So here's my response: ******************************************* Hey MC! Thank you for the feedback! The story does have more going for it, which covers the "risk career" element (this includes the impactRead more
Just realized I should’ve clicked on the “Reply” link instead of posting a new comment. haha So here’s my response:
*******************************************
Hey MC! Thank you for the feedback! The story does have more going for it, which covers the “risk career” element (this includes the impact from his estranged wife and her new beau). The stalker interferes with his attempts with his H.S. crush, but mostly in a comedic sense. His “sanity” is at risk because he’s experiencing three varying levels of anxiety: “tormented”, “wooed”, and “stalked”.
Given my response above (hopefully it helped clarify some), can you suggest a revised logline that you believe better frames the story?
Revised Logline: Struggling with his personal relationships, a pet psychiatrist risks love, career, and sanity when tormented by his estranged wife, wooed by a high school crush, and stalked by an obsessed cat owner.?
THANK YOU!!
See lessStruggling to relate to others, a pet psychiatrist spins out of control thanks to his estranged wife, a high school crush, and an obsessed cat owner.
Hey MC! Thank you for the feedback! The story does have more going for it, which covers the "risk career" element (this includes the impact from his estranged wife and her new beau). The stalker interferes with his attempts with his H.S. crush, but mostly in a comedic sense. His "sanity" is at riskRead more
Hey MC! Thank you for the feedback! The story does have more going for it, which covers the “risk career” element (this includes the impact from his estranged wife and her new beau). The stalker interferes with his attempts with his H.S. crush, but mostly in a comedic sense. His “sanity” is at risk because he’s experiencing three varying levels of anxiety: “tormented”, “wooed”, and “stalked”.
Given my response above (hopefully it helped clarify some), can you suggest a revised logline that you believe better frames the story?
Revised Logline: Struggling with his personal relationships, a pet psychiatrist risks love, career, and sanity when tormented by his estranged wife, wooed by a high school crush, and stalked by an obsessed cat owner.?
THANK YOU!!
See less