Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When her brother?s diary mysteriously appears at her doorstep, an art forgery investigator uses it to decipher location of stolen diamonds. She also discovers the truth about her father who masterminded an international heist and embarks on a hunt for the treasure during which she finds her family lost decades ago.
I just noticed this conversation, and would like to add that you can 'vote up' reviews. This way, you can support what you believe is a valuable contribution from anyone. (Once a user collects 2,500 points, they can also 'vote down' a review. )And Rafael, you can give someone the highest kudos by seRead more
I just noticed this conversation, and would like to add that you can ‘vote up’ reviews.
This way, you can support what you believe is a valuable contribution from anyone.
(Once a user collects 2,500 points, they can also ‘vote down’ a review. )
And Rafael, you can give someone the highest kudos by selecting their review as the “Best Review/Best Answer.”
😉
Karel
See lessAfter a peculiar foreigner buys back her freedom from the king of Jericho, a desperate young prostitute tries to free her enslaved family before the fabled city is destroyed by an Israelite army.
Better:"When a desperate young prostitute's family is enslaved in Jericho, she must..."Also, 'facing overwhelming odds' is too generic for a logline. EVERY great story has a main character facing overwhelming odds.Be as specific as you can be within the word count.I like the ticking clock/racing agaRead more
Better:
“When a desperate young prostitute’s family is enslaved in Jericho, she must…”
Also, ‘facing overwhelming odds’ is too generic for a logline. EVERY great story has a main character facing overwhelming odds.
Be as specific as you can be within the word count.
I like the ticking clock/racing against time.
I know this sounds pedantic, but you’ll make a better impression if you close every sentence with a full stop.
Without it, it feels as if you rushed this logline…
See lessWhen the most sought after celebrity becomes a widow, a beauty underdog beats the odds to marry him after unwittingly impersonating royalty and struggles to conceal her secret from the media.
Sounds a bit messy to me... Try rewording it, using the formula I recommend here:?https://loglines.org/howto. The story lacks in Inciting Incident, unless the marriage is accidental... Typically, a great story starts with something that happens to the main character. Not something the main characterRead more
Sounds a bit messy to me…
Try rewording it, using the formula I recommend here:?https://loglines.org/howto.
The story lacks in Inciting Incident, unless the marriage is accidental…
Typically, a great story starts with something that happens to the main character. Not something the main character does.
It seems to me that the struggle to get married is more interesting than the struggle to keep the secret. Or perhaps I just don’t get it…
Happy rewriting!
Karel
See less