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When a series of bizarre murders shock a small kingdom just after the abolition of capital punishment, the former state executioner must unmask the real killer to prove his innocence.
I like this original spin on the serial killer genre! Structurally, THE FUGITIVE (again - I said this about another one yesterday...). Do you need 'in the Court' at the end? It makes the 3rd Act sound dull in comparison to the rest of the movie!
I like this original spin on the serial killer genre! Structurally, THE FUGITIVE (again – I said this about another one yesterday…).
Do you need ‘in the Court’ at the end? It makes the 3rd Act sound dull in comparison to the rest of the movie!
See lessThwarting constant deportation attempts while managing daily household affairs, a young illegal immigrant girl musters precocious wits to win her school the national academic games championship
Hi JM, Have a look at the guidelines here:?https://loglines.org/howto. I would definitely include an Inciting Incident, to streamline the first act. What is it that kickstarts this story? I also assume there is a connection between the championship and her chances of avoiding deportation. Can you liRead more
Hi JM,
Have a look at the guidelines here:?https://loglines.org/howto.
I would definitely include an Inciting Incident, to streamline the first act. What is it that kickstarts this story?
I also assume there is a connection between the championship and her chances of avoiding deportation. Can you link the two in the logline? That way we understand the stakes of the contest.
Hope this helps!
Cheers,
Karel
See lessWith the family farm in flames, his father murdered, and his mother and sister kidnapped it’s up to young Leif to track them, revenge his father, find his mother and sister and bring them back home, but the Gods have other plans for Leif and his family..
Hi Patrick, Powerful setup! Reminds me of THE SEARCHERS... Like I said elsewhere on this site, commas are your friend. You are using quite a few, but need more. "The Gods have other plans..." may be a tad vague. Typically, you should reveal what the new direction is (at the Mid Point, I presume). FiRead more
Hi Patrick,
Powerful setup! Reminds me of THE SEARCHERS…
Like I said elsewhere on this site, commas are your friend. You are using quite a few, but need more.
“The Gods have other plans…” may be a tad vague. Typically, you should reveal what the new direction is (at the Mid Point, I presume).
Finally, I would cut “his family” at the end. It feels tagged on, and is essentially unnecessary.
I hope this helps!
Cheers,
Karel
See less