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The leader of a fourteenth century Scottish whaling village must seek out and do battle with a whale many times larger than any he has ever seen in order to ransom back his son from the occupying English.
The leader of a fourteenth century Scottish whaling village must seek out and do battle with a whale many times larger than any he has ever seen in order to ransom back his son from the occupying English. He's gotta kill a fish to get his kid back. It's JAWS meets INCEPTION, right? The problem hereRead more
The leader of a fourteenth century Scottish whaling village must seek out and do battle with a whale many times larger than any he has ever seen in order to ransom back his son from the occupying English.
He’s gotta kill a fish to get his kid back. It’s JAWS meets INCEPTION, right?
The problem here is that we don’t see any connection between the whale and the occupying English. Shouldn’t he be battling the English? I’m sure there’s great conflict and an amazing Blacklist script but the logline doesn’t make much sense.
We don’t know much about the main character, either. Yes, he is a leader – but does he learn anything during the journey? What is his issue? Why exactly does this task befall him?
See lessA young man with no memory except for the last five years finds out he's an android sent to infiltrate the human race before the aliens arrive to take over earth. He must now save his new home from his own masters depsite just now starting to know his own powers.
I think we have an overload of Inciting Incidents: - he finds out he's an android - the aliens arrive - he finds out about his own powers His main goal of saving his home probably goes further than that: he must save the world! We've just learned that aliens are taking over earth, so he'll have to sRead more
I think we have an overload of Inciting Incidents:
– he finds out he’s an android
– the aliens arrive
– he finds out about his own powers
His main goal of saving his home probably goes further than that: he must save the world! We’ve just learned that aliens are taking over earth, so he’ll have to stop the aliens.
I love the conflict that he’ll be fighting against his own masters. But perhaps make the ‘new home’ somewhat more concrete… does he have a human wife? Child?
What are “his own powers”?
Currently it sounds like there is only going to be conflict between him and his peers, which makes Earth sound like completely disconnected. Think of JAWS and create a potential dilemma on earth as well. Once his cover is blown, they won’t trust him, so there is your additional conflict. He’s between two fires…
See lessA brilliant pickup artist addicted to crack meets the love of his life in form of a stripper whom just laid of the pipe and he must now choose ? Love? Or crack.
There's conflict, alright... But to me it feels more like a decision moment rather than a story. Is this a short film? I would like to understand what to expect in the 2nd act of this story. What is our main character effectively DOING in this film?
There’s conflict, alright… But to me it feels more like a decision moment rather than a story. Is this a short film?
I would like to understand what to expect in the 2nd act of this story. What is our main character effectively DOING in this film?
See less