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An ensemble crime story set in Detroit about an ex-con who goes back for one last heist in order to settle his family?s debt.
Steven has done the in-depth analysis. Here are my key issues: 1) "Ensemble crime story" is all about genre; it doesn't tell us anything about the story. 2) "One last heist" has been done so many times I doubt there will be an audience for this. 3) I'm not getting what is unique about this story. AsRead more
Steven has done the in-depth analysis. Here are my key issues:
1) “Ensemble crime story” is all about genre; it doesn’t tell us anything about the story.
See less2) “One last heist” has been done so many times I doubt there will be an audience for this.
3) I’m not getting what is unique about this story. As such, the logline doesn’t do a very good job.
An autistic genius must come to terms with the sale of his childhood home in order to embrace the possibilities that the world and his intellect have to offer.
Here we have all ?inner journey? again. Come to terms? is an internal process that we can not visualize easily. What is this movie going to look like? But more importantly, why would this be a story with high stakes that people want to pay money to see? We all have to embrace stuff in our lives ? anRead more
Here we have all ?inner journey? again. Come to terms? is an internal process that we can not visualize easily.
What is this movie going to look like?
But more importantly, why would this be a story with high stakes that people want to pay money to see? We all have to embrace stuff in our lives ? and we ultimately do. Why is this a cinematic premisse? Tell us what is unique about your story that makes it cinematic.
Finally ?the possibilities that the world has to offer? is terribly vague, too. I have no idea what you mean by this. So either leave it out, or be more specific. A logline must be clear about what sort movie to expect and it must sell the idea to the reader, so it has to be interesting and entertaining. Here, unfortunately I find neither.
See lessWhen a plague of friendly London ghosts turns violent, a disillusioned exorcist must learn to put aside his differences with the people in this world and find the source of the evil.
It sounds like this could be a very original, entertaining movie. I like it. It is an original premisse. 'Learn to put aside'... sounds like an inner journey. It is hard to sell a movie concept on this. Loglines should first and foremost focus on the visual aspects of the story concept. "Find the soRead more
It sounds like this could be a very original, entertaining movie. I like it. It is an original premisse.
‘Learn to put aside’… sounds like an inner journey. It is hard to sell a movie concept on this. Loglines should first and foremost focus on the visual aspects of the story concept.
“Find the source” may be more visual in the movie but from this description we cannot imagine what it would look like.
Perhaps ‘his differences with the people in this world’ is also somewhat too generic. Can you be more specific? Who is the antagonist?
And surely, once he’s found the source of evil, he must eradicate it, right?
See less