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Grace cannot stop counting things. It has cost her her job as a teacher and shut her off from the rest of the world. But meeting Seamus opens up the possibility of a normal life. Unfortunately becoming normal is a lot harder than Grace thought.
Here's what I learn from this logline: Grace is quirky. This will be a quirky film. "meeting Seamus": It's girl meets boy. Seamus is quirky. "Becoming normal": inner journey only. What is Grace's objective? Getting her job as a teacher back? Marrying Seamus? None of this is clear. We have NO idea whRead more
Here’s what I learn from this logline:
Grace is quirky. This will be a quirky film.
“meeting Seamus”: It’s girl meets boy.
Seamus is quirky.
“Becoming normal”: inner journey only.
What is Grace’s objective? Getting her job as a teacher back? Marrying Seamus?
None of this is clear. We have NO idea what this movie will be about and being the cynic I have become (from seeing previously failed films with similarly poor loglines), I suspect it is about nothing and it will fail in every market.
Unless of course the filmmakers are brilliant storytellers, only they can’t put it in a logline. Yeah, right.
See lessThe transformation of Angelo d?Angelo, a New York hit man who is unwittingly embraced into the bosom of a simple, rural Australian community. For the first time, Angelo learns that love and family are just as effective as any weapon he?s ever known
"The transformation of" is a waste of space as most films are about the transformation of the main character. This is hardly ever what you would sell the movie on, though. DIE HARD is the transformation of a New York cop. But does anyone care? For a logline to be effective, we need to know what to eRead more
“The transformation of” is a waste of space as most films are about the transformation of the main character. This is hardly ever what you would sell the movie on, though. DIE HARD is the transformation of a New York cop. But does anyone care?
For a logline to be effective, we need to know what to expect in the OUTER JOURNEY, telling the visible action.
See lessWhen pure evil responds to the Arecibo message, a lowly NASA clerk must convince his superiors that planet Earth is facing doomsday, and nobody cares.
What I'm being promised here is a movie in which someone is trying to convince someone else. The interesting part of the movie I (and probably everyone else) want to see is not the convincing but the action that will follow once they are convinced. Or else, perhaps it's a HIGH NOON in which the heroRead more
What I’m being promised here is a movie in which someone is trying to convince someone else.
The interesting part of the movie I (and probably everyone else) want to see is not the convincing but the action that will follow once they are convinced.
Or else, perhaps it’s a HIGH NOON in which the hero tries to rally support against the clock but ends up having to face evil himself.
Another problem, however, is that ‘doomsday’ is too vague, as is ‘pure evil’.
Plus, I’m afraid that most people don’t know what Arecibo means and won’t bother looking it up.
Perhaps try something along the lines of “When an evil extraterrestrial force responds to a message sent into space by humans, …” and then be more specific about the type of events that unfold.
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