Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • About
  • Questions
  • Answers
  • Best Answers
  1. Posted: August 15, 2012In: Public

    A delightfully wayward filmaker travels Europe’s film festivals with her unimpressed daughter, spliting up each must conquer their demons and learn the language of love before returning home to Toronto .

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on August 18, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    This logline raises the suspicion that there actually is no story. If the inciting incident were that the filmmaker's daughter leaves her, perhaps this could be a worthy inciting incident. Even better would be if she's too young to be travelling on her own. In this case, the story goal could be forRead more

    This logline raises the suspicion that there actually is no story.

    If the inciting incident were that the filmmaker’s daughter leaves her, perhaps this could be a worthy inciting incident. Even better would be if she’s too young to be travelling on her own.

    In this case, the story goal could be for the filmmaker to find her daugher.

    However, the logline doesn’t really promise any of this. All it does is talk about the inner journey, which is the exact part a film usually does NOT sell on…

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  2. Posted: August 15, 2012In: Public

    – Max, a taciturn Broken Hill cabbie, has never done anything with his life. He?s in love with his neighbour Polly, but he?s never told anyone, not even himself. He thinks he?ll live and die alone in Broken Hill. Then something happens that forces Max to go on an extraordinary journey ? a journey that shows him, and us, that it?s never too late to change your life

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on August 18, 2012 at 11:22 pm

    This logline goes into excessive detail describing all that is uninteresting about this character, then fails to tell us what is potentially interesting (and which - hopefully - sets the story in motion). The following expresses the nature of pretty much EVERY hero's journey: "Then something happensRead more

    This logline goes into excessive detail describing all that is uninteresting about this character, then fails to tell us what is potentially interesting (and which – hopefully – sets the story in motion).

    The following expresses the nature of pretty much EVERY hero’s journey:

    “Then something happens that forces [insert hero] to go on an extraordinary journey ? a journey that shows him, and us, that it?s never too late to change your life”

    There are a lot of words in this logline but not many that actually achieve anything.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: August 15, 2012In: Public

    Two corrupt ex-cops travel to Coober Pedy with a bag of cash and play chicken with vengeful bikies, thieves, a yakuza wannabe, sociopathic rednecks and a rather short-tempered, one-armed deaf guy.

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on August 18, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    In the worst case scenario, this logline promises: Quirkiness. Too many main characters. No story. In the best case scenario I would like to see some character depth and I don't see it. What do the two cops learn? If they do learn anything, it would be helpful to see it in the logline or else this sRead more

    In the worst case scenario, this logline promises:

    Quirkiness.
    Too many main characters.
    No story.

    In the best case scenario I would like to see some character depth and I don’t see it. What do the two cops learn? If they do learn anything, it would be helpful to see it in the logline or else this sounds like yet another shallow quirky ozzy crim flic.

    Why Coober Pedy? What are they planning on doing there? If it is only about that bag of cash, the stakes are minimal and I’m not interested.

    Finally, if they are corrupt ex-cops, shouldn’t the law be after them as well? Just saying.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
1 … 66 67 68 69 70 71

Sidebar

Stats

  • Loglines 8,002
  • Reviews 32,189
  • Best Reviews 629
  • Users 3,739

screenwriting courses

Adv 120x600

aalan

Explore

  • Signup

Footer

© 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.