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A delightfully wayward filmaker travels Europe’s film festivals with her unimpressed daughter, spliting up each must conquer their demons and learn the language of love before returning home to Toronto .
This logline raises the suspicion that there actually is no story. If the inciting incident were that the filmmaker's daughter leaves her, perhaps this could be a worthy inciting incident. Even better would be if she's too young to be travelling on her own. In this case, the story goal could be forRead more
This logline raises the suspicion that there actually is no story.
If the inciting incident were that the filmmaker’s daughter leaves her, perhaps this could be a worthy inciting incident. Even better would be if she’s too young to be travelling on her own.
In this case, the story goal could be for the filmmaker to find her daugher.
However, the logline doesn’t really promise any of this. All it does is talk about the inner journey, which is the exact part a film usually does NOT sell on…
See less– Max, a taciturn Broken Hill cabbie, has never done anything with his life. He?s in love with his neighbour Polly, but he?s never told anyone, not even himself. He thinks he?ll live and die alone in Broken Hill. Then something happens that forces Max to go on an extraordinary journey ? a journey that shows him, and us, that it?s never too late to change your life
This logline goes into excessive detail describing all that is uninteresting about this character, then fails to tell us what is potentially interesting (and which - hopefully - sets the story in motion). The following expresses the nature of pretty much EVERY hero's journey: "Then something happensRead more
This logline goes into excessive detail describing all that is uninteresting about this character, then fails to tell us what is potentially interesting (and which – hopefully – sets the story in motion).
The following expresses the nature of pretty much EVERY hero’s journey:
“Then something happens that forces [insert hero] to go on an extraordinary journey ? a journey that shows him, and us, that it?s never too late to change your life”
There are a lot of words in this logline but not many that actually achieve anything.
See lessTwo corrupt ex-cops travel to Coober Pedy with a bag of cash and play chicken with vengeful bikies, thieves, a yakuza wannabe, sociopathic rednecks and a rather short-tempered, one-armed deaf guy.
In the worst case scenario, this logline promises: Quirkiness. Too many main characters. No story. In the best case scenario I would like to see some character depth and I don't see it. What do the two cops learn? If they do learn anything, it would be helpful to see it in the logline or else this sRead more
In the worst case scenario, this logline promises:
Quirkiness.
Too many main characters.
No story.
In the best case scenario I would like to see some character depth and I don’t see it. What do the two cops learn? If they do learn anything, it would be helpful to see it in the logline or else this sounds like yet another shallow quirky ozzy crim flic.
Why Coober Pedy? What are they planning on doing there? If it is only about that bag of cash, the stakes are minimal and I’m not interested.
Finally, if they are corrupt ex-cops, shouldn’t the law be after them as well? Just saying.
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