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Death has not any trouble killing anyone, but an old man hides his scythe and makes Death go back to his house to kill him, in that time he prepares a surprise for Death.
It reads like the setup for a short film, not a feature. The 'surprise' doesn't sound like it is going to last an entire feature act (or, between 45 and 60mins). The sentence could be structured more elegantly, as Nir implied with his understanding of the shifting POV.
It reads like the setup for a short film, not a feature. The ‘surprise’ doesn’t sound like it is going to last an entire feature act (or, between 45 and 60mins).
The sentence could be structured more elegantly, as Nir implied with his understanding of the shifting POV.
See lessWhen pure evil responds to the Arecibo message, a lowly NASA clerk must convince his superiors that planet Earth is facing doomsday, and nobody cares.
Thank you Nir. You've just reminded me of one of my own key rules: the antagonist must never be faceless. Initially, the antagonists can be the superiors (see JAWS) but ultimately there will be a standoff with the alien baddies and we need to know what sort of creatures they are and what exactly theRead more
Thank you Nir. You’ve just reminded me of one of my own key rules: the antagonist must never be faceless.
Initially, the antagonists can be the superiors (see JAWS) but ultimately there will be a standoff with the alien baddies and we need to know what sort of creatures they are and what exactly their plan is.
See lessWhen Tilly comes home she not only heals her ailing mother, but with her sewing machine, and haute couture style, transforms the women of the town in such a way that she gets sweet revenge on those who did her wrong. She also falls unexpectedly in love, which leads to her greatest loss and her most destructive deed.
This logline is interesting. It sounds like there could be a compelling story but these two sentences are really poorly constructed. To me it seems either it might have been written by an intern in the production office (who could learn a thing or two from The Story Department interns) or else the sRead more
This logline is interesting. It sounds like there could be a compelling story but these two sentences are really poorly constructed. To me it seems either it might have been written by an intern in the production office (who could learn a thing or two from The Story Department interns) or else the style bodes very badly for the ensuing screenplay.
See less