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  1. Posted: August 15, 2012In: Public

    -A group of international tourists are taken off the beaten path to an isolated village deep in the Vietnamese countryside where they experience a Viet Cong tunnel crawl that makes the famous Cu Chi tunnels seem like a playground… tighter, more claustrophobic, scarier. They get their money?s worth and then some!

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on August 18, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    The first sentence sounded promising for a moment but sadly the logline goes downhill from there... to reach the absolute lowest point with ... the exclamation mark. Please. Don't. Ever.

    The first sentence sounded promising for a moment but sadly the logline goes downhill from there… to reach the absolute lowest point with … the exclamation mark.

    Please. Don’t. Ever.

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  2. Posted: August 9, 2012In: Public

    Australia. 1916. After the death toll at Gallipoli, a group of friends are forced to choose between their lives at home or the call of duty in France. They soon find themselves in some of the worst battles the world had ever seen.

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on August 18, 2012 at 11:43 pm

    "After the death toll at Gallipoli" I may be wrong (I'm not a native English speaker) but it seems to me that 'death toll' doesn't refer to an event, or a point in time but rather a number, an amount. In that case the phrase would be grammatically incorrect. If I am right, it would be embarrassing aRead more

    “After the death toll at Gallipoli”

    I may be wrong (I’m not a native English speaker) but it seems to me that ‘death toll’ doesn’t refer to an event, or a point in time but rather a number, an amount. In that case the phrase would be grammatically incorrect. If I am right, it would be embarrassing as this type of mistake should not make it onto the web site of the federal funding agency, reporting on the projects they have funded.

    “a group of friends are forced to choose between their lives at home or the call of duty in France.”

    This is dramatically a powerful moment, but it is only a moment. A decision never carries more than a sequence in a movie.

    So the only other thing this logline really gives us is “a group of friends go to war”.

    My question: what makes this movie different from every other war movie? What is interesting about the characters? If there is no central character – God help me, I cannot remember a local film that managed this satisfactorily since Lantana – then why does it need to be a group? Will their friendship be torn apart? And what value(s) or theme(s) are at stake?

    Another example of lots of words but really not much of a selling point.

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  3. Posted: August 15, 2012In: Public

    – A romp through family life and black-sheepedness in small town Tasmania in the 1980s. Based on the bestselling novel by DJ Connell

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on August 18, 2012 at 11:33 pm

    Some filmmakers have the bad habit of including references to 'bestselling' novels - even if they are not really. I don't know how 'bestselling' this book was but I have never heard of it. In any case, filmgoers don't care. If you have to rely on book readers only, your movie will fail. Every year,Read more

    Some filmmakers have the bad habit of including references to ‘bestselling’ novels – even if they are not really.
    I don’t know how ‘bestselling’ this book was but I have never heard of it. In any case, filmgoers don’t care. If you have to rely on book readers only, your movie will fail. Every year, you can count the exceptions on one hand. Worldwide. We all know that ‘bestselling’ is a flexible notion. If an author makes it into any Top 10 list, they call themselves ‘bestselling’, even if it means they sold 3,000 copies. Big deal for a novel, not so for a movie audience.

    Finally, the logline doesn’t give us anything except for the setting – and we know that Tasmania has families and sheep.

    In other words, this is NOT a logline. For anyone other than those who know the book, there is NOTHING selling about it.

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