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When a young mother encounters a random woman in a crowd, she is mysteriously filled with an unceasing desire to kill her, and must do so before the other woman kills her first.
'gentle librarian' and 'sunny waitress' change the tone, they sound like descriptors for a comedy. I don't actually want to see a gentle librarian want to kill someone, that sounds like an opposite for the sake of an opposite. I like there to be some level of competency in characters.
‘gentle librarian’ and ‘sunny waitress’ change the tone, they sound like descriptors for a comedy. I don’t actually want to see a gentle librarian want to kill someone, that sounds like an opposite for the sake of an opposite. I like there to be some level of competency in characters.
See lessAn abused-at-home teenager finds himself in a school for special people where a wicked over-authoritative nurse suppresses rebellion by slowly turning all teenagers into vegetables.
This sounds like a horror or even a horror/comedy more than a Thriller. The supernatural can sometimes be apart of Thriller, but not to the extent of humans turning into vegetables. Also, "finds himself" isn't a good choice of words for the inciting incident. You need to make it very clear that goinRead more
This sounds like a horror or even a horror/comedy more than a Thriller. The supernatural can sometimes be apart of Thriller, but not to the extent of humans turning into vegetables.
See lessAlso, “finds himself” isn’t a good choice of words for the inciting incident. You need to make it very clear that going to the school was not his choice, it was an event that happened TO HIM, not one from his own actions.
When a teenager with an abusive past is sent to [specific school] with a killer headmaster, he must [do the action] to stay alive/save himself/save others etc.
An abused-at-home teenagers finds himself in a school for special people and ends up rebelling against an evil authoritative figure to save himself and his friends.
I think you need to include what it is that COMPELS him to rebel, otherwise you may as well just keep a low profile and stick out the school term. People only stick their necks out when it truly counts, when there's something important at stake, or an opportunity to finally grab what they've alwaysRead more
I think you need to include what it is that COMPELS him to rebel, otherwise you may as well just keep a low profile and stick out the school term. People only stick their necks out when it truly counts, when there’s something important at stake, or an opportunity to finally grab what they’ve always wanted.
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