Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • About
  • Questions
  • Answers
  • Best Answers
  1. Posted: March 21, 2016In: Thriller

    When a young mother encounters a random woman in a crowd, she is mysteriously filled with an unceasing desire to kill her, and must do so before the other woman kills her first.

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on March 22, 2016 at 9:45 pm

    'gentle librarian' and 'sunny waitress' change the tone, they sound like descriptors for a comedy. I don't actually want to see a gentle librarian want to kill someone, that sounds like an opposite for the sake of an opposite. I like there to be some level of competency in characters.

    ‘gentle librarian’ and ‘sunny waitress’ change the tone, they sound like descriptors for a comedy. I don’t actually want to see a gentle librarian want to kill someone, that sounds like an opposite for the sake of an opposite. I like there to be some level of competency in characters.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  2. Posted: March 20, 2016In: Thriller

    An abused-at-home teenager finds himself in a school for special people where a wicked over-authoritative nurse suppresses rebellion by slowly turning all teenagers into vegetables.

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on March 20, 2016 at 7:54 am

    This sounds like a horror or even a horror/comedy more than a Thriller. The supernatural can sometimes be apart of Thriller, but not to the extent of humans turning into vegetables. Also, "finds himself" isn't a good choice of words for the inciting incident. You need to make it very clear that goinRead more

    This sounds like a horror or even a horror/comedy more than a Thriller. The supernatural can sometimes be apart of Thriller, but not to the extent of humans turning into vegetables.
    Also, “finds himself” isn’t a good choice of words for the inciting incident. You need to make it very clear that going to the school was not his choice, it was an event that happened TO HIM, not one from his own actions.
    When a teenager with an abusive past is sent to [specific school] with a killer headmaster, he must [do the action] to stay alive/save himself/save others etc.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: March 19, 2016In: Thriller

    An abused-at-home teenagers finds himself in a school for special people and ends up rebelling against an evil authoritative figure to save himself and his friends.

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on March 19, 2016 at 8:50 pm

    I think you need to include what it is that COMPELS him to rebel, otherwise you may as well just keep a low profile and stick out the school term. People only stick their necks out when it truly counts, when there's something important at stake, or an opportunity to finally grab what they've alwaysRead more

    I think you need to include what it is that COMPELS him to rebel, otherwise you may as well just keep a low profile and stick out the school term. People only stick their necks out when it truly counts, when there’s something important at stake, or an opportunity to finally grab what they’ve always wanted.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
1 … 7 8 9 10 11 … 71

Sidebar

Stats

  • Loglines 8,002
  • Reviews 32,189
  • Best Reviews 629
  • Users 3,739

screenwriting courses

Adv 120x600

aalan

Explore

  • Signup

Footer

© 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.