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A group of criminals see their escape from prison when an infamous prison breaker arrive. The problem however : he doesn’t want to escape anymore.
Who is the protagonist, the unwilling escape artist or a member of the criminal gang? Also, like most prison escape dramas, they make out the main character is in prison for the wrong reasons so we want them to escape, but why would we want a "Group of Criminals" to escape prison?
Who is the protagonist, the unwilling escape artist or a member of the criminal gang?
Also, like most prison escape dramas, they make out the main character is in prison for the wrong reasons so we want them to escape, but why would we want a “Group of Criminals” to escape prison?
See lessWhen a trusting young boy living in a racist community befriends a kidnapped Mexican teenager, he must reevaluate his ethics and expose the secret slave-trading business before all the captives are sold.
Hmmm, I can see the story, but there are a couple of issues. A "Young Boy" in my mind implies someone around the age of 10 or younger, so I wonder how he would be able to help free and stop a slave trade, plus I don't think he needs to reevaluate his ethics, as you mentioned he's trusting, so I assuRead more
Hmmm, I can see the story, but there are a couple of issues. A “Young Boy” in my mind implies someone around the age of 10 or younger, so I wonder how he would be able to help free and stop a slave trade, plus I don’t think he needs to reevaluate his ethics, as you mentioned he’s trusting, so I assume he is ethical it is more he should come to realise the world isn’t how he perceives, which works as boy loses his innocence, plus this reevaluation is more of the arc of the story, so probably don’t need it in the logline.?
I, personally, would turn it on his head, what if it was his family that were traders, what if the people he always thought as staying were actually people being sold. Then he’s challenged by one girl, who he gets to know, who tells him she isn’t who his family is saying she is, but they are the bad ones, now he has a real choice between family, who do appear to show him love and affection and doing what’s right.
You still have stakes, as this person could rescue the girl before she is sold, and if he can get her to safety she could reveal his parents dark secret, maybe at first she claims she’ll just leave, but when she helps him, she states she is going to hand his parents in to the police, now he’s faced again with that choice.
I hope that helps.
See lessSuffering from deep psychological scars, the troubled young girl struggles to live a normal life again.
Hi, this isn't really a Logline, this is more the arc of a person who overcomes their past. What is it that sets them on this road to recovery, what goal are they seeking. When she's invited to a school reunion... could be a good story start, school can be terrible for some and having to relive it cRead more
Hi, this isn’t really a Logline, this is more the arc of a person who overcomes their past.
What is it that sets them on this road to recovery, what goal are they seeking.
When she’s invited to a school reunion… could be a good story start, school can be terrible for some and having to relive it could be horrible.
You’d still need a goal, so maybe she plans on using the reunion to hunt the down the players of the football team to find out who attacked her.
Shear have plans to kill this person, but by confronting these people and seeing she has more strength than they ever will she decides not to kill them and instead get proper justice and show she won’t be held back by her past and will let it be a driver.
Hope that helps
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