1. Posted: November 2, 2016In:

    a negligent mother must find her daughter’s soul and bring her back from a mythical white forest before the soul detached completely from the body. Possible Title : “White Woods”

    Knightrider Mentor

    You could have some fun with this, my first thought was a new movie in the vein of Army of Darkness. A mother who goes from Zero to Badass, not just empowered, but to someone who would do anything for her child. I would also say she must "retrieve her daughter's soul from a mythical white forest" itRead more

    You could have some fun with this, my first thought was a new movie in the vein of Army of Darkness. A mother who goes from Zero to Badass, not just empowered, but to someone who would do anything for her child.

    I would also say she must “retrieve her daughter’s soul from a mythical white forest” it just saves you a few words and still implies a journey to return with an item so to speak

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  2. Posted: November 4, 2016In:

    When a zombie outbreak incites a racist massacre in her small Southern town, a pregnant teen must fight the undead – and her own family – to reunite with the child’s black father.

    Knightrider Mentor

    Using a Zombie movie as a metaphor for current racial tensions in the US and or other countries for that matter is fine, heck could even work for anything such as race, religion, gender, and/or sexuality. So, I don't have an issue with the mix. I guess for me, the protagonist isn't right. If it is bRead more

    Using a Zombie movie as a metaphor for current racial tensions in the US and or other countries for that matter is fine, heck could even work for anything such as race, religion, gender, and/or sexuality. So, I don’t have an issue with the mix.

    I guess for me, the protagonist isn’t right. If it is black people being hunted, then I think the father should be the protagonist trying to reunite with the wife, by mentioning his colour and the racial tensions that will exist in your story then I see more roadblocks and conflict from this logline for him.

    I don’t think you are quite there yet, but I do think you have a clever idea in mixing a genre such as Zombie with real world problems. It will need just as much cleverness to handle it in a way that isn’t offensive to people of either race etc. Yes, with the messages and themes you will no doubt hint and discuss people may get uneasy, but that’s fine. Not crossing that line into offensiveness so your message doesn’t get lost is the trick.

    Hope that helps.

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  3. Posted: November 6, 2016In:

    When twin vixens working in a Texas Diner have their freedom threatened by two bandits, they must face the evil lurking in their nightmares or they?ll be enslaved for eternity.

    Knightrider Mentor

    Yep, does seem to go off in a different direction after the first set up, which is fine as it has been done very well with movies like "Dusk till Dawn", but this does feel a little disjointed. I don't know if you said if they were drugged, that way you have a way into their psyche? Also, not sure whRead more

    Yep, does seem to go off in a different direction after the first set up, which is fine as it has been done very well with movies like “Dusk till Dawn”, but this does feel a little disjointed. I don’t know if you said if they were drugged, that way you have a way into their psyche?
    Also, not sure why they have to be twins, unless they can be connected in someway, with one twin kidnapped, while the other enters her mind?

    I don’t think you have to play it safe a simple kidnapped / escape story, I am all for mixing the genres, but currently it just feels unconnected. That probably isn’t much help.

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