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A strawberry obsessed college student runs away to seek fame after suffering from physical and emotional abuse in 1960s San Diego.
"strawberry obsessed college student" = protagonist "traumatic childhood" = inciting incident "growing up" = goal "1960s San Diego" = setting Could be a good story sketch, but overall too vague. Lets start with the kooky 'strawberry' obsession. What underlying character flaw might this be revealing?Read more
“strawberry obsessed college student” = protagonist
“traumatic childhood” = inciting incident
“growing up” = goal
“1960s San Diego” = setting
Could be a good story sketch, but overall too vague.
Lets start with the kooky ‘strawberry’ obsession. What underlying character flaw might this be revealing? Greed (over eating) or ambition (to be a strawberry farm). As it stands, this is more a distinguishing mark of character, rather than a character trait.
traumatic childhood sounds nasty, but be specific. Head trauma, rape trauma, verbal abuse trauma … Sighting the source of trauma would reveal the drama’s villain too.
Growing up is a good goal, but could it be more specific? Getting out of a bad relationship is specific, and maybe this story is about living with an abusive parent … just riffing here. The point is trauma must come from some where, causing character to do something, to attempt to be somewhere else
See less– like wishing they were in the middle of a strawberry farm, eating an endless supply of strawberries.
A headstrong and impulsive youth steals £230 million of mob funds and stays one step ahead of the top mob enforcer until he decides to donate it to a charitable cause.
"headstrong and impulsive youth" = protagonist "steals £230 million of mob funds" = inciting incident "donates it to a charitable cause" = inciting incident "stays one step ahead of the top mob enforcer" = main character goal Great logline. Has a heist film meets thriller feel to it. 'Impulsive charRead more
“headstrong and impulsive youth” = protagonist
“steals £230 million of mob funds” = inciting incident
“donates it to a charitable cause” = inciting incident
“stays one step ahead of the top mob enforcer” = main character goal
Great logline. Has a heist film meets thriller feel to it.
‘Impulsive character steals large sum of money from bad guys’ seems to indicate that the character arc might be from Impulsive -> through to -> Considered, as a main character trait transformation. In a strange way, donating a large sum of stolen money to a charitable cause, also seems (to me anyhow) a bit impulsive too. A Charity is best to accept ‘clean money’, and while donating has thoughtful and considered qualities, our said character hasn’t really thought things through.
How then might our unpredictable character find himself in a stop and think situation? And I guess the answer is when the bad guys catch him. Makes me think of ‘A Clockwork Orange (1971)’, where an overly confident character eventually finds himself in a torturous, and institutional situation. Wonder if this logline might benefit from more detail on the nature of the main character’s problem and its potential for transformation.
See lessA Self centered rising young artist must put aside his ego when he is forced to compete against his on and off girlfriend, for a record deal with a famous rapper’s upcoming label.
"Self-centred rising young artist" = protagonist "put aside his ego" = main character goal "girlfriend" = villain Art about art is always fun. To write a story about an artist, is to simultaneously be an artist and emphasize with their point of view. It's the epithet like quality of the last sentencRead more
“Self-centred rising young artist” = protagonist
“put aside his ego” = main character goal
“girlfriend” = villain
Art about art is always fun. To write a story about an artist, is to simultaneously be an artist and emphasize with their point of view.
It’s the epithet like quality of the last sentence that left me hanging:
“… for a record deal with a famous rapper’s upcoming label”
To be semantic, perhaps the main character is more specifically a Musician, singer or music industry related profession. Disorientated my initial image of the character (sorry, imagined a painter/artist).
‘Put his ego aside’ is very abstract for a character goal, but ‘win a record deal’ is much more specific. The implied character arch is from self-centered -> through to -> selfless. A virtuous and powerful story structure. But perhaps this might be expressed through the story conflicted? What if the villian were kind, selfless, generous, supportive of others? This would surely go up againist the grain of our protagonist’s character flaw.
Speaking of villains, who is the main villain: girlfriend, or rapper? Not that stories can’t have multiple bad guys, just that usually there is only one main climatic “Boss” character.
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