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As a compulsive gambler watches a game that could erase his huge debt to a dangerous bookie, he thinks about how he got to this point and everything he has at stake.
"compulsive gambler" = protagonist "watches a game" = inciting incident "erase his huge debt" = story goal "a dangerous bookie" = villain All the key ingredients for a logline are here, yet something feels missing. And it might be in the sentence ".. thinks about how he got to this point ..." NothinRead more
“compulsive gambler” = protagonist
“watches a game” = inciting incident
“erase his huge debt” = story goal
“a dangerous bookie” = villain
All the key ingredients for a logline are here, yet something feels missing. And it might be in the sentence “.. thinks about how he got to this point …”
Nothing is more boring for audiences, than to watch a character sit there – thinking. Film Directors shout ACTION! for a reason, and it’s because a character’s action, is (yes, you guessed it) an expression of CHARACTER.
So, the question is, what is our gambler friend going to do? Run, hide, rob a bank, murder a loved one … it’s your story, you decide, but what they do, determines who they are. Courageous or weak? Smart or dumb? Honest or Dishonest? These are the qualities which will fate the character. And more importantly, determine the story’s character arc.
See lessWhen a star studded, self-centered young talented musician lusting for the lifestyle of a rockstar, scores him and his band of brothers a chance to be signed and mentored by one of the music industry’s big time acts, he must wrestle with the rewards and pitfalls of stardom, love, and loyalty in the music industry in order to maintain his integrity as an artist and become a better man to those around him.
"self-centered young talented musician" = protagonist "scores a chance into music industry’s big time acts" = inciting incident Great logline! Clear statement of protagonist's character flaw - self-centered. Then BANG! their dreams come true with an inciting incident. How will a selfish person behavRead more
“self-centered young talented musician” = protagonist
“scores a chance into music industry’s big time acts” = inciting incident
Great logline! Clear statement of protagonist’s character flaw – self-centered. Then BANG! their dreams come true with an inciting incident. How will a selfish person behave, when suddenly they get what they want? Lots of potential for conflict there.
Question: Who then is the antagonist? There’s a suggestion of wrestling with rewards and pitfalls, but the statement feels abstract. Difficult to imagine in any concrete sense. But if a bad guy was thrown in?
And this villain character, what if they were, well you know, really nice? Likeable in fact, call them selfless, generous, and caring. Quite a contrast here, and one that may even imply the character arc, more than simply stating “a better man to those around him”.
Through profoundly different stories, it kind’a reminds me of Gone with the Wind (1939). Scarlett O’Hara an’t that nice a girl, every one around her is so much nicer. Yet we connect with this character because of her flaws, and how she struggles to amend them. Just wondering who is your Rhett Butler.in your story?
See lessA shell shocked soldier in post-invasion Europe has to decide between taking vengeance on the invaders or saving a group of forgotten teenagers after he’s been wounded attempting to destroy the source of the invaders power.
"shell shocked soldier" = protagonist "he’s wounded attempting to destroy the source of the invaders power" = inciting incident "vengeance on the invaders" = main character goal "saving a group of forgotten teenagers" = main character goal "post-invasion Europe " = setting The potential weakness, feRead more
“shell shocked soldier” = protagonist
“he’s wounded attempting to destroy the source of the invaders power” = inciting incident
“vengeance on the invaders” = main character goal
“saving a group of forgotten teenagers” = main character goal
“post-invasion Europe ” = setting
The potential weakness, feels like it might be the double main character goals. While it is presented as a potential ‘Sophie’s Choice (1982)’, it lacks the depth of a moral dilemma.
External conflict is great, should character do X or do Y, but it is Internal Conflict that truly tears a character apart. Internal conflict is psychological. What type of character is our shell shocked soldier? Courageous? weak? sentimental? passionate? honorable?
An honorable character might choose serving his army, over saving forgotten teenagers. But a Sentimental character might choose saving teenagers, over seeking revenge.
Question: How might the inciting incident, cause our main character to have to make a choice? That is, the invading powers caused our teenagers to be forgotten, AND (riffing here, but maybe) the teenager is the daughter of the main character – then he would have to save her then! Right!
See less