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After a series of volcanic explosions and earthquakes unleashes the 'Shaadowars', a race of monsters born from the depths of the world. The human race who inhabits the world has waged a brutal war for survival. An Australian Knight unsuspectingly teams up with a young Aboriginal boy who has the key to ending the devastating war and drag the world back from darkness.
A few logical issues to begin with: the only current Australian Knights are Prince Philip and Peter Cosgrove, or maybe you are proposing a future or alternative reality, if so tell us. "Unsuspectingly" seems a strange adjective, unless the Aboriginal boy is in disguise... all very confusing. AlexpsmRead more
A few logical issues to begin with: the only current Australian Knights are Prince Philip and Peter Cosgrove, or maybe you are proposing a future or alternative reality, if so tell us. “Unsuspectingly” seems a strange adjective, unless the Aboriginal boy is in disguise… all very confusing.
See lessAlexpsmith suggests making the sidekick “an intrinsic young aboriginal boy”… As a first step, start with the dictionary, then the spell check (Shaadowars or Shadow Wars?) and a grammar check before offering your logline to the world.
Finally, define your main character, main incident, the action the MC must undertake and the consequences if he/she/it fails.
When the grandmaster of all gangs is killed, The Warriors are labeled as the culprits, now with every gang in the city after them they must battle the streets to clear their name and reach home turf of Coney Island.
I'm not sure what/who the "grandmaster of all gangs" is (grandmasters play chess). Do you have a Main Character? "The Warriors" is vague and amorphous. How important is Coney Island and why there? It's all a bit generic.
I’m not sure what/who the “grandmaster of all gangs” is (grandmasters play chess). Do you have a Main Character? “The Warriors” is vague and amorphous. How important is Coney Island and why there? It’s all a bit generic.
See lessWhen a deadly soil-borne virus is released in Canberra, an obsessed scientist battles military and political forces to save the city from pre-emptive destruction.
Food for thought. The 25 word limit is mandatory in this case. So let's try this: "When a deadly soil-borne virus escapes from a laboratory, a discredited scientist battles to save the city from being nuked by the military."
Food for thought. The 25 word limit is mandatory in this case. So let’s try this:
“When a deadly soil-borne virus escapes from a laboratory, a discredited scientist battles to save the city from being nuked by the military.”
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