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Young champion diver Xanthe only has free-time for Julia, her bestie since primary school, but can their princess-promises survive their dreams, different schools, new friends and injury? Can two princess-wannabes stay friends as they follow their dreams? Of course they can!
At present it reads that Xanthe spends all her free time with Julia, her best friend. Even though they go to different schools and have other friends. Who gets injured? What is the injury, is it enough to stop them being best friends? Do I care? Try a rewrite that will make me care, but only use 25Read more
At present it reads that Xanthe spends all her free time with Julia, her best friend. Even though they go to different schools and have other friends.
See lessWho gets injured? What is the injury, is it enough to stop them being best friends? Do I care?
Try a rewrite that will make me care, but only use 25 to 30 words.
A 10,000 year old alien takes human form and becomes a super powerful paraplegic in his attempt to save the Earth from destruction.
Good idea to leave out the bio-spiritual disease part. As the logline reads at present the alien chooses to be paraplegic. I have to ask this, why choose to be paraplegic? I'm mentally and physically disabled and understanding why anyone (or any alien) would choose to become disabled is beyond me. SRead more
Good idea to leave out the bio-spiritual disease part.
See lessAs the logline reads at present the alien chooses to be paraplegic. I have to ask this, why choose to be paraplegic? I’m mentally and physically disabled and understanding why anyone (or any alien) would choose to become disabled is beyond me.
So, could that part be reworded?
Is there any need to state how old the alien is?
Who causes the bio-spiritual disease in the first place, is there a reason for causing it?
Mention the word spiritual and folk will think of the church, rightly or wrongly.
They are not questions to be answered, merely points to consider when thinking of a logline, making it appeal to the few (producers) who want lots of money, bums on seats, box office receipts.
Mention paraplegic, coupled with saving the earth and an X-Men type scenario comes to mind.
I have no problems with that, but some folk may.
Set to the hit music of pop star Kylie Minogue, this musical spectacular follows 17-year-old Kylie Power, who, upon moving to her father?s hometown of Sydney, is given one last chance to pursue her dream of becoming a synchronised swimming champion.
Not logline stuff. Don't worry about getting the rights to her music, finding out if the music would be available is all you need bother with when writing the script. Leave the getting the rights etc to a producer when the film goes into pre- pre-production. Stating that the music is by Kylie MinoguRead more
Not logline stuff.
See lessDon’t worry about getting the rights to her music, finding out if the music would be available is all you need bother with when writing the script. Leave the getting the rights etc to a producer when the film goes into pre- pre-production.
Stating that the music is by Kylie Minogue can be put after the logline, so it needn’t be included. This might help you, does Kylie Minogue like synchronised swimming?
Logline stuff.
The more ways you get to re-think the logline, the better for you. I hope this gives you food for thought.
Kylie Powers, 17, has gone to live with her dad, again. This time she is going to follow her dream to be a synchronised swimming champ, despite what her (mother, father, coach, best friend, boyfriend) says. Choose whoever fits the story)
Good luck.